This was November ....Piece of the Story

Wow,another month I've missed writing for. but at least my track record overall is decent(13 per year crazy that I've kept it up for that long). Writing is not my forte or something I particularly enjoy, it's always more of a struggle. I don't really know why I write this, oh well. I'm not sure where the last post left off (sorry I didn't bother looking) but I had a pretty significant event happen in my life in November.
I'm engaged!
The story: We'd been dating for a year steady and decided to celebrate by going on a weekend trip to get out of the city. For fun, my Fiancé decided to surprise me as to where we were going. I didn't ask a lot of questions ahead of time because I was enjoying the adventuresome nature of the surprise. That said I way over-packed(this is a normal tendency anyway but was exaggerated by not knowing where I'd be going or what I'd be doing)! When we started on the road, I let loose with questions trying to gain some hint of where we were going; he was almost annoyingly good at not giving anything away. About halfway we get on this one highway that I know goes to where one of my closet friends lives and one other town that I could think of. So I ask some other defining questions that I thought for sure would lead to at least one yes, I was wrong. I was very very confused, there is nothing else on this highway that I could remember. I fell silent racking my brain for some piece of geography I was missing. Right as I was about to give-up(I'd begun to think he just told me no to throw me off/confuse me) after 15 minutes or so the proverbial light-bulb went off. I of course asked if the place was it and he said "maybe" in his way that meant yes. This confirmation got me to thinking about how this place was kind of significant for us as being something more than friends all the way back in 2006(yes it's really been that long). Neither of us had really been to that specific location since 07. We'd been a town away last year. The siginifcance of the place got my mind wandering down the path of maybe it'll be this weekend(we had previously discussed a tiemframe to get engaged) but I quickly stopped that thought because I knew it would come at the right moment and I wanted to be surprised(I was). We get there and I'm excited the concierge even made a comment when we checked into our rooms. I made the comment that I was happy to be at the beach, away from the city, and not at work. (Little did the concierge or I know that I would have even more reason to be excited that weekend!) We drop off our stuff and head out for a walk on the beach. It was a beautiful clear fairly warm afternoon for mid/end of November. It was really nice and relaxing. After a little bit we head back in, clean-up, and went to explore the area. We found the local mini-golf and played a nice, fun, and challenging round. I'm normally awful and he is really good, but I'm very excited to say I got not 1 but 2 holes in one! He still ended up beating him but I tied him on the back nine. Alright back to the story. After mini-golf there was a playground next door and I'm a sucker for swings so we swung for a few minutes because it's just fun to be a kid. Next we went to find a place for dinner, we ended up at a local restaurant that we had eaten at the 2 years we were there for retreats. Last we headed back to the hotel grabbed jackets and went for a moonlit walk on the beach. (I guess this is where the story really begins but the whole weekend was amazing.) The night was perfect (I'd say picture but you can't capture those kind of evenings) It was cool and breezy, full-moon, gentle-waves crashing, white sand, got it pictured? Good, now think 10 times better. We start walking along enjoying the time spending with each other and he begins to say things. It starts to become a blur but I remember he said that: "You know most people wait their whole lives to find someone to spend it with and I'm so glad to have found you already." (heart melting? good, mine was too, still is) We paused for a moment and he said "I know we agreed not to get gifts for our anniversary but I have one for you and I think you know what it is." (At this point yes I did) He reached in his pocket pulled out a ring and said "I'm going to get down on one knee .. (he does) .. Will you marry me?" I'm not sure exactly what I said but I know the all important "Yes" was there. Then he said "so how do I do this? Which hand/finger?" Me: "This one" (helps him get it on the correct one) He stands up we hug and celebrate! I don't know if I can describe how happy I was/am and his face had probably one of the biggest/best smiles I've ever seen from him which only made me happier! The rest of the evening was spent in relishing the moment, calling important people in our lives, retelling the story, and then crashing.
If this is not a detailed enough account of the story, I'm sorry maybe if you asked questions it would trigger things I forgot or didn't think you'd be interested (such as what we ate or were wearing).
I'm tapped out on writing for now, enjoy!

Another month

Living in a new city, check. Learning a new job, check. Trying something new, check. Missing family, check. Missing boyfriend, check. Missing friends, check. Missing my horse, check. Regretting moving, not at all. It hasn't been easy but I'm glad to be trying this adventure. It's made me think about the future a lot and what I really want out of life. No definite conclusions as of yet. It's evident though that any decisions now will certainly have a ripple effect on the rest of my life.

This from my last blog still stands: "I know this job is what I need to do it'll be a great learning experience not only education-wise but also spiritually. I will be forced even more to depend on my Savior."

Side note: I've read several books over the past week and it felt so nice and natural. Read: I read for fun because I wanted to, amazing!

I'm not sure what else to say, I really just wanted to have a post for October before it was over.

This is simply beautiful:
http://debrablack.wordpress.com/2010/10/27/for-my-dad/

New Life Imminent

So once again not in a real writing mindset but still here it goes.
In 4 days, I'm moving to a new state to start my first full-time career after college. My room is a mess and not nearly packed as I had hoped. I haven't been able to get all I've wanted accomplished. At the moment I'm kinda out of it. (Brief rabbit trail: I discovered yesterday that I'm allergic to another form of medicine, sulfa. This involved being so itchy all over my body I wanted to tear my skin off. The medicine they gave me made me want to crawl the walls, I was so restless and miserable. I spent about 4 hours at the after-hours doctors office then was transferred to the hospital by ambulance because I wasn't showing enough improvement to go home. I then spent another several hours there. That experience was awful. Today I've been just tired all day stupid medicine. end trail)
So back to moving, Yes I'm excited but I'm also a little sad, scared, and nervous. It'll be awesome to be on my own, meet new people, and explore a new city. As much as those are awesome they are kind of a bummer as well: I'm not exactly a people person but I like to be near people (I think this is also why I always have music on besides the fact I love music), I love my friends I have now and we'll miss seeing them often, and exploring a new city can be overwhelming for me on my own. Did I mention I'm leaving my boyfriend here? 6 months is a long time though not that long at least that's what I keep reminding myself. We survived me being in Europe for the summer and have no doubt we can and will survive this, it'll just be tough. I know how much I missed him while I was on my trip (he's my best friend and I love him.) which makes me not look forward to feeling that again. I know this job is what I need to do it'll be a great learning experience not only education-wise but also spiritually. I will be forced even more to depend on my Savior. I'm excited about this because this is a huge area I struggle with. I tend to be extremely self-sufficient. I know this causes problems not only in my relationship with God but with my friends and family as well. I'm sorry when it does and sometimes I don't realize when it's becoming an issue until to late. To those I've hurt I'm sorry.
Ok, maybe that was a bit deeper/sad than y'all wanted to read, oops. But I guess I was in a writing mood and need to get it off my chest.

Changes imminent

Links I've liked recently:
- http://blog.swiftkickonline.com/2010/07/valedictorian-speaks-out-against-schooling-in-graduation-speech.html
- http://stuffchristianslike.net/2010/08/not-knowing-whether-to-sprint-or-be-still/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+stuffchristianslikeblog+%28Stuff+Christians+Like+-+Jon+Acuff%29
- http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/08/business/08consume.html?_r=2&src=me&ref=business

Life...
I'm not really in the writing mindset but have been meaning to update this. Maybe later I'll write more.
So updates:
-I'm done with college, I don't ever have to go back unless I want too!!!!!!!!
- My brother has a girlfriend!
- I have a job, details to come next time.
- Life has been busy/fun/relaxing/stressful since I graduated a couple weeks ago.
- Life will be changing a fair amount real soon, details to come. (scary, nerve-wracking, bittersweet, exciting, mix of everything)

That's all for now, sorry.

Oops not exactly in June

Hey Y'all,
Sorry this one is not exactly in June so my 1 per month posting is a bit inconsistent but I do believe there were 2 for May so one of those can count.

Anyways, update I'm almost done with my trip abroad just 1 week left. It's been long and quite a range of emotions and events. Nothing too terrible but I will openly admit I'm ready to be home. I would not be terribly disappointed if I was told I had to go home today. Part of the problem is I'm exhausted and part of it is my frustrations with the professor for this last class and our TA. There is no order and we waste so much time often making our days really long. (tangent)I'm not a teaching expert but I feel I'm a fair judge of teaching skills and lack there of. I've grown up around it, I've taught in a couple different formats over my short life. It bugs me so much when a professor is so knowledgeable but can't convey that information due to lack of ability to teach. Teaching is a valuable skill and should be held with higher regard than it is today. To teach is a gift and a talent few have anymore. I've seen teaching change lives, it can take the most difficult and uninteresting subject and show a student why/how/desire to learn more. I was getting do frustrated one day I wanted to cry so I started to write (shocking, I know) to give me something to do. Here's what I wrote: (not eloquent or deep just something I wanted to type so I would have another record of it) "There is no joy when the heart yearns to learn but is shut out due to a lack of understanding. The soul cries tainting any glimpse given of some famous work. To compare to experience to harken inspiration to draw.. " That's all I got down before I was told I had 10 min. to explore an entire museum and then proceed to get left behind when they left before 10 minutes was finished. Those emotions in the words remind me that I am a student and make me think this might be how other students feel sometimes before they are forced to give up because they never benefited from a great teacher. Teaching is a difficult job and more often than not thankless. I guess I say all this to say take a moment and write a teacher you know a Thank You note.

k, back to updating on life (sorry for the long tangent). When I finally get back from my trip I will have to complete: research paper, refine field notes, create a formal journal, create a presentation to turn in for the scholarship I was blessed to receive, and look for jobs. Then I will graduate and more than likely still be looking for a job. Beyond that is unknown. Scary, frightening thought, It's been a long time since I've not had any idea as to what I would be doing in a month. It's somewhat exciting when I think about maybe God has something really unique in store for me ... that sounds bad, everyday is a unique blessing.. I think part of me is hoping for some mission-esque type opportunity where I can use my engineering to help others. I have no idea how but I'd love to do that in more of a way than a normal office position would allow for. I know that every place/position is a mission-field.

... this trip has been hard, I'm not surrounded by my Christian awesome friends or even have close access (aka phone call away). It's been a fight to stay on top of doing a daily Bible reading, to be a Godly example (what does that look like), to be me. I've been really convicted (had it on my mind a lot lately) about my attitude and how it's not been pretty lately. My desire to be in my comfort zone is overpowering and I want to choose God. I think this might be how Paul felt when he wrote about flesh wanting one thing and spirit another. I pray I will not succumb any longer to my selfish desires. I need God's help. I hope people realize I'm not perfect and can see that my God is.

Well, I think this is more than enough for now, sorry for the verbal vomit.

Slow yet Slammed

... oh my... sigh.. it's been crazy since my last post only a couple weeks ago. None of it has been bad that I can remember (except leaving friends and family at home) just so busy.
- So I'm on my 3rd day of class, plus getting to Athens Saturday. (So it's really day 5) I've already taken almost 900 pictures.
- Already the days are starting to blur together, it's overwhelming. To be honest I got homesick a little I miss my friends and family dearly. I'm a little disadvantaged sometimes b/c I don't always know all the architecture terms and such.
- The city here is.... divided. The tourist plako(sp?) is a stark contrast from the natives' portion of the city. The tourist area is smattered with ruins all centered around the Acropolis. It's kept clean and pristine full of color and shopping. There's tons of vendors with people hawking(sp?) wears on the street and walking around. Athens is extremely dense the coastal harbors are what you know of in pictures.
- It's been fun to explore and walk around the city. We stick out, all the tourists stand out so much. There's no hope to blend in.
mmm maybe I should start from the beginning with thoughts (sorry if they're not all coherent)
- panic in the airport a must? for me apparently
- flying: at night is beautiful to look down over the cities all lit up

- I wish we had more time to leave the airport in London
- I don't do well with not eating for a long time
- airplane food is odd
- The saying "that's greek to me" is so true, I can't read signs much less receipts.
- American specials are not necessarily great deals
- Time change is hard to calculate and keep track of
- Hotel roofs are gorgeous

- smoking is more common here
- Went to a Church here, it was cool to worship with other Christians
- lots and lots of walking/hiking
- I was excited about a isthmus/canal more than architecture people. They don't understand how big of a feat this is.

- I'm an engineer at heart. I love how they put stuff together more than how cool it looks.
- Gyros are ok, great that they're cheap
- Gelato is yummy and reasonably priced
- Few people smile here
- Small harbor towns are my favorite.
- I love color, the flowers and doors/windows that pop against the walls

- I'm an adventurer yet not reckless
- Breezes make a huge difference
- I can't keep up with shows
- Judgements are made fast and off set to hard
- diversity is it's meaning, sometimes difficult/offensive
- God is in control and is here.

... I can't think of my other thoughts at the moment. We're on a break before we go to one of the museums here. PS it's 2:35pm here.
Still to come:
- 73 days 'til Graduation!
- Look for jobs

Dangerously Close

Why Hello May, How are you? You're in an awful hurry why don't you slow down and stay awhile.

Mmm update on what happened as mentioned last post to come:
- Classes Finished - Check!
- Best Grades ever for a semester - 3 As and 2 Bs oh my!
- Flag Football - 3rd place tough way to go out, it was fun though
- Last time seeing friends for a long time - went by way too fast, I miss them already and can't wait to see each one again!
- Moved home, unpacked, repacked, organized, disorganized - who knows when I'll move again?
Now:
- Spending time with family!
- Falling in Love again with my horse, He's such a blessing to me!
- Praising God for His amazing creations: sunsets, animals, people
- Starting on work for Summer classes
- One week left til a crazy adventure I'm not ready for!?!
- 87 days 'til Graduation aahhh!
- Look for jobs
- Playing on the lake and hanging out with friends

Wow, that's all I can say. I don't think I ever truly thought I'd make it this far. Truth is I didn't. God has carried me through so much, nothing is mine, I didn't get myself this far, He brought me here. Everything has been/is preparation. What's next? I have no idea but I'm excited and think I'm ready to go.

PS Don't forget to slow down, stop, and smell the honeysuckle!

April Showers...Christ's love!

First section was written beginning of April:
So I ended up waking up after about 6 hours after that last post, in case you were wondering, oh well. Currently I'm at home and hoping to go back tonight so I can do work and not get too far behind. I hate being sick so much! It's frustrating.
Update on last month stuff:
-I've gotten to talk to such a sweet friend as she's traveling, I can't wait to visit her and explore with her! She's almost to her final destination.
-I got to ride my horse and spend time at the barn Saturday! Such a much needed time to myself.
-My Bestfriend is enjoying his job, and has to make a future decision soon, so prayers would be appreciated
-My brother had a full-time job for 3 days then they let him go, :( I know there's a reason and I'm trusting God to provide.
- I think my tests went alright.
- D-Now was amazing! God taught me a lot. The girls and the other leaders were amazing! I'm so blessed I got to be a part of the weekend.
- Beach Reach was soo cool! Challenging and better than ever. I had an amazing group and leader to go with! I had some amazing times of prayer and laughter with God. I love Him! It's so awesome to think God laughs with us.
- My first interview did not result in an offer but I think it's for the best. So, I'll keep searching and trust God to provide a position that would be glorifying to Him no matter what it'd be.
- Baptisms, not judgmental, joyful at how God is using other ministries

Now mid-April is here...
goodness, time is flying! Let's see what all's happened since then:
- super fun bachlorette for a great friend
- Easter!
- registered for Summer last undergrad semester
- lunch with my bestfriend when we were kids
- dinner with one of my best highschool friends
- last season of flag-football in progress
- My favorite boy's birthday
- my Mom's birthday
- Thrashers game
- My Bestfriend accepted a job!
- tons of review sessions and the biggest test of my life to date (8 hours)
- lots of projects, meetings, hw, and classes
- Rehearsal dinner, wedding, and reception for an amazing couple. I'm so glad I got to be there for the dinner and end of the reception (stupid test was during the wedding, frustrating)
- My sweet friend has made it to her home, Cali so excited! I can't wait to talk to her soon! (School gets in the way too much!)

May I just weddings are interesting, more of what comes around them, the conversations, people; it gives you lots to think about.

What's to come:
- Today presentation and last assignment for 1 class
- Today induction ceremony
- Tomorrow last mentor event and last bcm thingy
- Wed. quiz?
- Thursday presentation and last assignment due for another class
- Saturday hopefully going to see a tunnel being built near me
- dead Monday presentations and last assignments for another class (Chuck!)
- dead Tues, flag football semi-finals
- dead Wed. Senior Design Presentation scary!
- dead Thurs. flag-football finals
- dead Fri. senior party
- Sat. Dixie Season Opener
- final mon.
- final tues.
- final thurs.
- move out
- sat. friends' graduations
- then 2 weeks a fly to summer classes!!! so close AHHHHH
- then 7 full weeks and I'm back
- THEN 4 WEEKS TO GRADUATION aka 104 days 'til I'm DONE!

All of this is so exciting and scary, I'm trusting that God will carry me through like He's done before. He is all I need, though I forget and try to do it on my own so often.

March Madness! (I know unorignal, oh well :P)

So, all of my roomies are still up and I mean wide-awake. Oddly enough I'm not at all tired so far this semester I've had a really hard time staying up past midnight, no clue why. It feels strangely good to still be up. I, also, have the plus to not feel guilty about it since my 2 official classes (8 and 9:30) are both canceled today! Now all I have is Senior Design starting at 1:30pm. This month has started off calm unexpectedly, I was anticipating being behind and being slammed. I'm still "behind" in a couple classes but it's not terrible, or at least in my Senioritis mind it appears that way. April will be nuts! But before we get there let me speaking more about March.
This month:
- I've said goodbye to a dear friend I won't see for several months(It just reminds me how much I miss those who I've already not talked to in forever!)
- my horse was sick and I couldn't go home (he's better now)
- my bestfriend has started a job!
- my brother has got a full-time job again!
- I'm halfway through classes for the semester
- I've taken my first test in one class and have the first test for 3 more classes next week
- I'm helping to lead a small group of girls for a D-Now weekend (I'm terrified and excited!)
- Spring Break is the week after next and I'm going on a mission trip (super pumped and can't wait to see what God does!)
- I've started the job search and application process (hope I can find something somewhere)
mmm I think that covers through the end of March. Then comes April filled with lots of deadlines, aaahhhh and an 8 hour test! I'm not so worried about all the projects grade-wise I just don't want to have to choose between spending time with friends and working on school work. As my last real semester (I won't be here for my last semester) I want to enjoy everything and spend time with those I love before we spread out. I'm so grateful that God is in control and He is my hope. I'm soo blessed to be loved! God is amazing, even is classes go horribly from here on out or my plans are destroyed, I know I will be safe in His arms! I'm excited about what He's got in store for me and those I love!
"He led me to a place of safety; He rescued me because He delights in me." -Psalm 18:19
"Shake Well, Settling is Natural"

... I think I'll go to bed now, though I could stay up and probably get stuff done, I don't think people would appreciate me being tired in a meeting though. ... Should I set an alarm and get up early and work or see how much sleep I can get? Let's find out! :P

post for February

Since the previous post was not exactly what I prefer for my monthly post, here is something less interesting ;).

February so far has been fun, busy with classes and life. Nothing to complain about. (Oh by the way, I'm proceeding with my trip this summer and using a loan not my preferred choice.) I'm getting a severe case of senioritis, I'm reaching the point of counting points I'll get taken off in order to avoid hw. It's bad definitely not something I'm proud of, hopefully I'll get a handle on it soon. I'm ready to be done with classes not necessarily the schedule and flexibility that come with being in college. I'm beginning my job search again. There's a career fair I'm going to this week, wish me luck.
I can't think of much to write about, maybe I'll write more before the month ends.

Here's a fun story that happened to me yesterday:
The weather was gorgeous finally after lots of cold, so a friend and I went to the local park to just be outside. We'd been in the spot on the hill for over an hour and had discussed plans to get food at the restaurant at the corner of the park. As we were people/dog watching this guy sits down just past my friend about 10ft away. We continue chatting and watching, then in a lull in our conversation this guy says "You have pretty feet" to me. .....uh.... I respond "Thank you?" and start freaking out in my head. My friend and I quickly revert back to commenting on dogs around us. Then 5 minutes later or so he asks: "Can I see the bottom of your feet?" ....uh...uh... sheepishly I say: "No." Now my friend and I are both so confused, who says that? We wait a few more minutes to try and avoid making it obvious that we were a little creeped out. Then we get up and head to the restaurant to get a reservation. As we walk alongside the park, we keep glancing back to check and see if he's following us. We just laugh it off and wonder about why/who says something like that. (Hint: Guys this is not a good pick-up line ever!) We get to the restaurant put our name down and go sit on the hill next to it to wait out the hour. Think the story's done? Oh no, there's more! My friend leaves me to go to the restroom and I pull out my notebook to do some more studying a minute later I notice someone sit down about 10 ft away, you guessed it same guy! I quickly glanced over realized it was him and buried myself in my notebook. He stayed for about a minute then got up and walked away. I couldn't believe it, my friend and I had joked about him following us, but neither of us believed it would happen. After the guy got some distance away I whipped out my camera to prove to my friend he'd been there. My friend came back and I told her what happened and showed her the picture, then we just laughed that's all we could do. Needless to say we enjoyed the rest of our time with no more appearances by the guy. Craziness!

Dire need of help

So this is not my typical post but ...
I'm not normally one to publicly ask for help(a pride issue of sorts), but I don't know what to do. I guess this is also a vent/lament.
Background: I'm in my last year (5th) of my college undergrad degree earning a bachelors in civil engineering. I've co-oped (worked every other semester) for a total of 5 full work terms and one part-time term. This until the past year has allowed me to pay for school by myself for the most part. My parents have helped out when I couldn't afford it(freshmen year, I hadn't had a real job yet, and the past 2 semesters, when the economy tanked it limited the amount of hours I could work thus limiting the money I could earn).
Problem: I'm in my 2nd to last semester and am currently trying to figure out my last semester. I've been accepted into a Study Abroad program that would be an awesome opportunity to broaden my horizons and something I'd be looking at for years. It costs about 1.5 times as much as a normal semester for me. I CAN'T afford it without help. I've been looking at scholarships many of which I can't qualify for and most won't award the money until a couple weeks before my trip leaves or some after. A lot of the money is due now several months in advance due to making reservations for flights, hotels, matriculation fees, etc. This is what is causing the biggest problem for me.
Now, I've got to find a way to come up with the money or I'll have to withdraw the program and find classes here to take during the summer or maybe even have to wait until the fall because I can't afford tuition. Oh, by the way I don't qualify for loans because my parents make "too much" money. Which, is not a true statement since they had to take out loans to help me pay for this semester and the previous one.
Admission: I'm not poor, by the world's standards I'm rich. This is a dream of mine and I don't forsee another opportunity like this occurring ever again for me. I've been able to do a lot of stuff throughout my lifetime, a whole lot more than the rest of my family. As far as I know I will "make it" farther in my life than anyone in my family has ever been able to. I know I'm complaining to an extent and life isn't fair, but I thought by putting it out there maybe someone will be able to help me.
Irony/Grace: I'm a Christian and try to do daily Bible studies. Currently I've been reading about how God provided for the Israelites in the desert (lot bigger problem, even less possiblity of a solution). I know God is in control and He's plans and timing are better than mine could ever be. So I'm trusting that He has a purpose for me whether it be going or not. Here are 2 verses I was reminded of yesterday (before I really started panicking):
"He led me to a place of safety; He rescued me because He delights in me."-Ps. 18:19
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."-Prov.16:9
There's a similar verse to the last one to which keeps going and ask the Lord to "Correct my steps" I pray that God will correct my steps and my attitude. I will bless His name no matter the outcome. I pray my selfishness will not overcome who God wants me to be.

Look I'm early

Look I'm kinda early on making a post for the month!

I had an awakening today. A realization that I have habits that have become instinct. Some good and some bad. I've been trying something new for a set amount of time. Today I messed up, I failed, I broke my goal. The most disturbing thing was that I didn't realize it until halfway through. I felt ...guilty, ashamed, lost, relieved I caught myself, blown away, etc. It was so instinctive I never realized I had a habit that could be that way. I'm still trying to grasp the full meaning. It has made me wonder what else is in my life is like that. I haven't figured out anything yet but I'm working through it.
I pray this sticks with me for along time and bugs me forcing me to grow.