Thursday, February 4, 2010

Dire need of help

So this is not my typical post but ...
I'm not normally one to publicly ask for help(a pride issue of sorts), but I don't know what to do. I guess this is also a vent/lament.
Background: I'm in my last year (5th) of my college undergrad degree earning a bachelors in civil engineering. I've co-oped (worked every other semester) for a total of 5 full work terms and one part-time term. This until the past year has allowed me to pay for school by myself for the most part. My parents have helped out when I couldn't afford it(freshmen year, I hadn't had a real job yet, and the past 2 semesters, when the economy tanked it limited the amount of hours I could work thus limiting the money I could earn).
Problem: I'm in my 2nd to last semester and am currently trying to figure out my last semester. I've been accepted into a Study Abroad program that would be an awesome opportunity to broaden my horizons and something I'd be looking at for years. It costs about 1.5 times as much as a normal semester for me. I CAN'T afford it without help. I've been looking at scholarships many of which I can't qualify for and most won't award the money until a couple weeks before my trip leaves or some after. A lot of the money is due now several months in advance due to making reservations for flights, hotels, matriculation fees, etc. This is what is causing the biggest problem for me.
Now, I've got to find a way to come up with the money or I'll have to withdraw the program and find classes here to take during the summer or maybe even have to wait until the fall because I can't afford tuition. Oh, by the way I don't qualify for loans because my parents make "too much" money. Which, is not a true statement since they had to take out loans to help me pay for this semester and the previous one.
Admission: I'm not poor, by the world's standards I'm rich. This is a dream of mine and I don't forsee another opportunity like this occurring ever again for me. I've been able to do a lot of stuff throughout my lifetime, a whole lot more than the rest of my family. As far as I know I will "make it" farther in my life than anyone in my family has ever been able to. I know I'm complaining to an extent and life isn't fair, but I thought by putting it out there maybe someone will be able to help me.
Irony/Grace: I'm a Christian and try to do daily Bible studies. Currently I've been reading about how God provided for the Israelites in the desert (lot bigger problem, even less possiblity of a solution). I know God is in control and He's plans and timing are better than mine could ever be. So I'm trusting that He has a purpose for me whether it be going or not. Here are 2 verses I was reminded of yesterday (before I really started panicking):
"He led me to a place of safety; He rescued me because He delights in me."-Ps. 18:19
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."-Prov.16:9
There's a similar verse to the last one to which keeps going and ask the Lord to "Correct my steps" I pray that God will correct my steps and my attitude. I will bless His name no matter the outcome. I pray my selfishness will not overcome who God wants me to be.

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