Look I'm kinda early on making a post for the month!
I had an awakening today. A realization that I have habits that have become instinct. Some good and some bad. I've been trying something new for a set amount of time. Today I messed up, I failed, I broke my goal. The most disturbing thing was that I didn't realize it until halfway through. I felt ...guilty, ashamed, lost, relieved I caught myself, blown away, etc. It was so instinctive I never realized I had a habit that could be that way. I'm still trying to grasp the full meaning. It has made me wonder what else is in my life is like that. I haven't figured out anything yet but I'm working through it.
I pray this sticks with me for along time and bugs me forcing me to grow.
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