Oops not exactly in June

Hey Y'all,
Sorry this one is not exactly in June so my 1 per month posting is a bit inconsistent but I do believe there were 2 for May so one of those can count.

Anyways, update I'm almost done with my trip abroad just 1 week left. It's been long and quite a range of emotions and events. Nothing too terrible but I will openly admit I'm ready to be home. I would not be terribly disappointed if I was told I had to go home today. Part of the problem is I'm exhausted and part of it is my frustrations with the professor for this last class and our TA. There is no order and we waste so much time often making our days really long. (tangent)I'm not a teaching expert but I feel I'm a fair judge of teaching skills and lack there of. I've grown up around it, I've taught in a couple different formats over my short life. It bugs me so much when a professor is so knowledgeable but can't convey that information due to lack of ability to teach. Teaching is a valuable skill and should be held with higher regard than it is today. To teach is a gift and a talent few have anymore. I've seen teaching change lives, it can take the most difficult and uninteresting subject and show a student why/how/desire to learn more. I was getting do frustrated one day I wanted to cry so I started to write (shocking, I know) to give me something to do. Here's what I wrote: (not eloquent or deep just something I wanted to type so I would have another record of it) "There is no joy when the heart yearns to learn but is shut out due to a lack of understanding. The soul cries tainting any glimpse given of some famous work. To compare to experience to harken inspiration to draw.. " That's all I got down before I was told I had 10 min. to explore an entire museum and then proceed to get left behind when they left before 10 minutes was finished. Those emotions in the words remind me that I am a student and make me think this might be how other students feel sometimes before they are forced to give up because they never benefited from a great teacher. Teaching is a difficult job and more often than not thankless. I guess I say all this to say take a moment and write a teacher you know a Thank You note.

k, back to updating on life (sorry for the long tangent). When I finally get back from my trip I will have to complete: research paper, refine field notes, create a formal journal, create a presentation to turn in for the scholarship I was blessed to receive, and look for jobs. Then I will graduate and more than likely still be looking for a job. Beyond that is unknown. Scary, frightening thought, It's been a long time since I've not had any idea as to what I would be doing in a month. It's somewhat exciting when I think about maybe God has something really unique in store for me ... that sounds bad, everyday is a unique blessing.. I think part of me is hoping for some mission-esque type opportunity where I can use my engineering to help others. I have no idea how but I'd love to do that in more of a way than a normal office position would allow for. I know that every place/position is a mission-field.

... this trip has been hard, I'm not surrounded by my Christian awesome friends or even have close access (aka phone call away). It's been a fight to stay on top of doing a daily Bible reading, to be a Godly example (what does that look like), to be me. I've been really convicted (had it on my mind a lot lately) about my attitude and how it's not been pretty lately. My desire to be in my comfort zone is overpowering and I want to choose God. I think this might be how Paul felt when he wrote about flesh wanting one thing and spirit another. I pray I will not succumb any longer to my selfish desires. I need God's help. I hope people realize I'm not perfect and can see that my God is.

Well, I think this is more than enough for now, sorry for the verbal vomit.