Wonder of it All
The greatest season for a child
Christmas brings so much to see
the presents, food, family, and lights
the youngest so tiny and small
first to bed, first to rise
to find the tree so tall
beauty and memories shining from every branch
the child overjoyed, so excited runs to tell all
their presents have come
ready to take a place in their hearts.
The child knows best;
to see through His eyes
is the greatest gift.
The magnificent season for all
when Christ came for us to see
the grace, love, Father, and the light
the weakest so sinful and tall
first to misstep, first to rise
to find the cross finished all
picked up and made new seeing the blood on the branch
the sinner overjoyed, so excited runs to tell all
the Savior has come
ready to take a place in their heart!
Written by AEH 12/25/09
Merry Christmas!
I hope you're reminded of the greatest gift ever given.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
J-group Discussions
Side Note before the actual post: Please pray for me: I have a test tomorrow at 7-9:30am for which I have done virtually no studying, but most importantly for wisdom in making a decision and the courage to stand by it not regretting anything. Thanks
A rough slightly edited set of emails and thoughts...
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Abbie
> Sent: Tuesday, October 27, 2009
> Subject: J-Group Meeting
>
> "Only those who have wrestled with a silent God are ready to hear Him speak again"
>
> So this entire time we've been searching for God's Will we've kind of glanced over the one thing that probably frustrates us the most- when we're looking for His Will, but God is silent. I think that we've kind of already hit on this topic in our conversations- which is why I am that much more excited about specifically talking about it again. It could just be me, but I feel like this is a really relevant topic to discuss.
>
> So who would you think is the one person in the world that has never experienced silence from God? Jesus? Wrong. :) we will be lookng at Christ this week and seeing exactly how God's own son dealt with silence from God- and how we can handle it in our own lives.
>
> First off I think that there are really two kinds of silences one can experience from God. There's the one that you just pain out feel abandoned. You're in trouble, you're trying to make important life decisions and you need God- now! And it feels like He's no where to be found. Read Matthew 4:1-11. Jesus is tempted by Satan in the wilderness. God was silent when Jesus was tested- and Jesus was tempted in some pretty big ways. Sometimes I think that God uses His silence to test our hearts- to see what we're really made of.
>
> Then there's the other silence that comes more from our own disobedience and/or questioning God's plan. Read Matthew 26:36-46. Jesus is in the garden and he is asking God to essentially "rethink" what He had to do. But God remained silent. Sometimes I think that God gives us an answer and then remains silent while we wrestle with what we then have to or not do.
>
> Speaking of wrestling :) The last Biblical reference for this e-mail is in Genesis 32:22-32. Jacob wrestles with God- literally. Do you ever feel like when God is silent- that's also the times when we wrestle with Him the most?
>
> What are the main things you deal with during the times that God is silent?
>
> I can't wait to see what you all have to say about all of this.
> Abbie
On 10/29/09 11:17 PM, wrote:
Hey Ladies,
After our discussion tonight, I was doing some more reading in a book I was given about Intimacy with God. I haven't really looked much into it until tonight, but what I read I felt was relevant. So here some thoughts from the book, hope it's helpful.
~
Thoughts:
"Whom have I in heaven but You? and there is none upon earth that I desire besides You." ~Psalm 73:25
Come near to the holy men and women of the past and you will soon feel the heat of their desire after God. They mourned for Him, they prayed and wrestled and sought for Him day and night, in season and out, and when they had found Him the finding was all the sweeter for the long seeking. -A.W. Tozer [I really like the phrasing in this quote, I'm not sure what he meant initially by in and out of season but to me I feel this applies to the times when God's silent.]
There is a restlessness deep within each of us that compels us to search for the person, the place, the job, the "god" that will fill the void and give us peace. This restlessness drives us to find someone who will love us for who we are, understand our fears and anxieties, affirm our worth, and call our lives into account. To admit our need for and dependence upon God requires humility and vulnerability, which paves the way not only for knowing God, but also for becoming intimate with Him. Deepening intimacy with God is the outcome of deep desire.
May this prayer of David's become our own:
Hear my cry, O God; Give heed to my prayer. From the end of the earth I call to Thee, when my heart is faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For thou hast been a refuge for me, A tower of strength against the enemy. Let me dwell in they tent forever; Let me take refuge in the shelter of thy wings.
-Psalm 61:1-4
Other suggested readings: Psalm 62, 63, and 73 as well as Isaiah 26:9 and Philippians 3:7-11
Sorry that this is just direct quotes from a book, but I couldn't think of a
better way to rephrase it. Hope it helps in some way!
~
A rough slightly edited set of emails and thoughts...
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Abbie
> Sent: Tuesday, October 27, 2009
> Subject: J-Group Meeting
>
> "Only those who have wrestled with a silent God are ready to hear Him speak again"
>
> So this entire time we've been searching for God's Will we've kind of glanced over the one thing that probably frustrates us the most- when we're looking for His Will, but God is silent. I think that we've kind of already hit on this topic in our conversations- which is why I am that much more excited about specifically talking about it again. It could just be me, but I feel like this is a really relevant topic to discuss.
>
> So who would you think is the one person in the world that has never experienced silence from God? Jesus? Wrong. :) we will be lookng at Christ this week and seeing exactly how God's own son dealt with silence from God- and how we can handle it in our own lives.
>
> First off I think that there are really two kinds of silences one can experience from God. There's the one that you just pain out feel abandoned. You're in trouble, you're trying to make important life decisions and you need God- now! And it feels like He's no where to be found. Read Matthew 4:1-11. Jesus is tempted by Satan in the wilderness. God was silent when Jesus was tested- and Jesus was tempted in some pretty big ways. Sometimes I think that God uses His silence to test our hearts- to see what we're really made of.
>
> Then there's the other silence that comes more from our own disobedience and/or questioning God's plan. Read Matthew 26:36-46. Jesus is in the garden and he is asking God to essentially "rethink" what He had to do. But God remained silent. Sometimes I think that God gives us an answer and then remains silent while we wrestle with what we then have to or not do.
>
> Speaking of wrestling :) The last Biblical reference for this e-mail is in Genesis 32:22-32. Jacob wrestles with God- literally. Do you ever feel like when God is silent- that's also the times when we wrestle with Him the most?
>
> What are the main things you deal with during the times that God is silent?
>
> I can't wait to see what you all have to say about all of this.
> Abbie
On 10/29/09 11:17 PM, wrote:
Hey Ladies,
After our discussion tonight, I was doing some more reading in a book I was given about Intimacy with God. I haven't really looked much into it until tonight, but what I read I felt was relevant. So here some thoughts from the book, hope it's helpful.
~
Thoughts:
"Whom have I in heaven but You? and there is none upon earth that I desire besides You." ~Psalm 73:25
Come near to the holy men and women of the past and you will soon feel the heat of their desire after God. They mourned for Him, they prayed and wrestled and sought for Him day and night, in season and out, and when they had found Him the finding was all the sweeter for the long seeking. -A.W. Tozer [I really like the phrasing in this quote, I'm not sure what he meant initially by in and out of season but to me I feel this applies to the times when God's silent.]
There is a restlessness deep within each of us that compels us to search for the person, the place, the job, the "god" that will fill the void and give us peace. This restlessness drives us to find someone who will love us for who we are, understand our fears and anxieties, affirm our worth, and call our lives into account. To admit our need for and dependence upon God requires humility and vulnerability, which paves the way not only for knowing God, but also for becoming intimate with Him. Deepening intimacy with God is the outcome of deep desire.
May this prayer of David's become our own:
Hear my cry, O God; Give heed to my prayer. From the end of the earth I call to Thee, when my heart is faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For thou hast been a refuge for me, A tower of strength against the enemy. Let me dwell in they tent forever; Let me take refuge in the shelter of thy wings.
-Psalm 61:1-4
Other suggested readings: Psalm 62, 63, and 73 as well as Isaiah 26:9 and Philippians 3:7-11
Sorry that this is just direct quotes from a book, but I couldn't think of a
better way to rephrase it. Hope it helps in some way!
~
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sharing
Currently, I have many thoughts about what is happening in my life, but I can't seem to think of a way to express them so until then I wanted to share this link to a blog. I'm also posting his most recent post below.
http://romilayu.blogspot.com/
I'm not nearly this elegant at writing prose. Hope y'all enjoy this:
"Pulmonary Misanthropy
With every breath, the worker feels more and more pressed.
The most difficult thing about being a full time ditch digger is that the worker doesn't get much time to himself. Whilst he is digging the hole, he is constantly surrounded...both by those who labour with him and by those he is training to take up the spade after he is no longer able. Once he hangs up his spade, he must then go home to his family where the worker becomes the father. He spends his life either giving or being taken from in all of his various professions and, at times, in his darkest heart, the worker resents this.
The worker knows that the man has asked him to dig this hole and be this father. The worker also knows that the man has given him all the time he needs...most of it is squandered or taken up showing others how to dig, brace walls, move dirt, wet earth, or one of the many other things that go into digging a hole of the nature the man wants.
The worker can not help but be hit with a certain level of self-loathing when faced with his self-indulgent narcissism. He realizes that to want time to himself is selfish, but he also feels that he is owed it. Then again, the worker also realizes that writing in his journal is probably also idle time...but he is alone, and that is peaceful.
The worker seems to have drifted further from the man in the past few months. The grime and dirt have obfuscated his view. And in all truth, the worker hasn't really felt the need to fix that, and it worries him. He hasn't been in the man's office for their weekly meeting in what seems like months. There are reasons, most of them legitimate, but the worker still misses those meetings....and not being in those meetings seems to have somehow left the worker with a slightly less than focused sense of direction.
So the worker plods on....each day, suiting up, grabbing his spade, and moving earth...more so these days with a heavy heart. But there are days when the worker runs across a fellow laborer or one of his past proteges with their new, shiny spade; eager to plow into the task at hand....and they turn to the worker for advice or to thank him....and the worker, uncomfortable with the praise as he knows it is due to the man, looks up in the man's office and sees him smiling down.
The worker still wants others to want less of him, but he knows that the man doesn't. Perhaps the man and the worker need to discuss this at their next meeting...."
http://romilayu.blogspot.com/
I'm not nearly this elegant at writing prose. Hope y'all enjoy this:
"Pulmonary Misanthropy
With every breath, the worker feels more and more pressed.
The most difficult thing about being a full time ditch digger is that the worker doesn't get much time to himself. Whilst he is digging the hole, he is constantly surrounded...both by those who labour with him and by those he is training to take up the spade after he is no longer able. Once he hangs up his spade, he must then go home to his family where the worker becomes the father. He spends his life either giving or being taken from in all of his various professions and, at times, in his darkest heart, the worker resents this.
The worker knows that the man has asked him to dig this hole and be this father. The worker also knows that the man has given him all the time he needs...most of it is squandered or taken up showing others how to dig, brace walls, move dirt, wet earth, or one of the many other things that go into digging a hole of the nature the man wants.
The worker can not help but be hit with a certain level of self-loathing when faced with his self-indulgent narcissism. He realizes that to want time to himself is selfish, but he also feels that he is owed it. Then again, the worker also realizes that writing in his journal is probably also idle time...but he is alone, and that is peaceful.
The worker seems to have drifted further from the man in the past few months. The grime and dirt have obfuscated his view. And in all truth, the worker hasn't really felt the need to fix that, and it worries him. He hasn't been in the man's office for their weekly meeting in what seems like months. There are reasons, most of them legitimate, but the worker still misses those meetings....and not being in those meetings seems to have somehow left the worker with a slightly less than focused sense of direction.
So the worker plods on....each day, suiting up, grabbing his spade, and moving earth...more so these days with a heavy heart. But there are days when the worker runs across a fellow laborer or one of his past proteges with their new, shiny spade; eager to plow into the task at hand....and they turn to the worker for advice or to thank him....and the worker, uncomfortable with the praise as he knows it is due to the man, looks up in the man's office and sees him smiling down.
The worker still wants others to want less of him, but he knows that the man doesn't. Perhaps the man and the worker need to discuss this at their next meeting...."
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
craziness my to do list
So it's week 5, and this has been on my to do list and a friend reminded me so I figured now is better than later(maybe). At this point what I'll write is not as extensive as it would have been had I written when I first thought about it. Guess that's what happens when you have an 8am and have had a career fair (2 days) and 2 tests this week alone. Well here's what I will say:
- deep conversations:
to be honest I'm not sure where I first intended this to go, so for now I'm going to run this way-deep conversations always seem to come at the oddest times, for me best chance to get me going is late at night something about it, I lose any inhibitions I might have had before. In general i try to say what I mean and not sugar coat things but at times it gets pretty salty. I love deep conversations, the raw-real-emotional-often lack of knowledge-the chance to learn. I'm not the most talkative person in the world, I believe my friends may say different but I doubt that, I'm especially quiet before I know you really well. After that I'm still quiet, want to here me talk, ask me about one of my passions, or just catch me at just the right moment and I'll start spouting off. Usually I catch myself within a few minutes but not always, the giveaway is the glazed expression/shock in other people's eyes that makes me realize I've rambled.
- relationships, maybe: ooh such a tough subject, not crazy about it. It's such a wide and varied topic. You have to be soo careful even with friendships just to avoid being misconstrued and/or hurting the progress you've made. Ok after writing the other 3 topics I'm going to leave this one for some other time though no guarantees.
- not being involved officially, means no involvement: this is a feeling I struggle with sometimes. For the past several years, I've been involved(meaning mtgs attendance required and such) on campus, this year as my last year I decided not to be in a leadership role. As a senior, the transition from out of college and such starts soo early (career fair in fall, for potential full-time jobs next year). It's so odd, I wish I could still feel like a college kid and not as one getting ready to work full time. I've partially done this to myself by working part-time for my co-op company while I take classes. I'm not great at attending/feeling involved when it's not required/scheduled. ...a friend just reminded me about how our roles have changed as we've become the seniors it's harder to feel like there is someone older and wiser to gain/learn from. It's not that the "kids" underclassmen can't teach us things; it's that we always want someone to mirror and carve the path for. The amazing classes above us did that, though I never paid attention to how they made it through their senior years(I wish I had). I bet if I asked them they struggled with the same things too, though I would never have guessed it.
- raw, what we think we're alone in: struggling with, thinking about, wondering, doubting, etc.: ok, I remember on this one where I wanted to go, though I'm not sure how to convey it. It's always almost shocking(for lack of a better word) everytime I(we) here other people be completely honest about something there struggling with and I(we) never thought anyone else dealt with that. I guess it all stems from the fact I want to hide all my fears and failures(yes I realize that's in a song). What would it be like/how different would it be if I realized/let everyone see(s) my brokeness? Would people still be around, if they realized I struggle with this(see I don't even have guts to admit anything right now)? All I can hope is that someone will provide the "gift" of going first, so I can concur with them and encourage them that they are not alone. Is it considered "deep" conversations when we discuss our struggles? If we did it all the time, would it become a my horse is bigger than your horse or would they become as fleeting as our passing hellos? I can only hope and pray that I remain true to my name and am honest/truthful in all I say.
PS. listening to certain random songs on youtube/google, make me happy and laugh.
- deep conversations:
to be honest I'm not sure where I first intended this to go, so for now I'm going to run this way-deep conversations always seem to come at the oddest times, for me best chance to get me going is late at night something about it, I lose any inhibitions I might have had before. In general i try to say what I mean and not sugar coat things but at times it gets pretty salty. I love deep conversations, the raw-real-emotional-often lack of knowledge-the chance to learn. I'm not the most talkative person in the world, I believe my friends may say different but I doubt that, I'm especially quiet before I know you really well. After that I'm still quiet, want to here me talk, ask me about one of my passions, or just catch me at just the right moment and I'll start spouting off. Usually I catch myself within a few minutes but not always, the giveaway is the glazed expression/shock in other people's eyes that makes me realize I've rambled.
- relationships, maybe: ooh such a tough subject, not crazy about it. It's such a wide and varied topic. You have to be soo careful even with friendships just to avoid being misconstrued and/or hurting the progress you've made. Ok after writing the other 3 topics I'm going to leave this one for some other time though no guarantees.
- not being involved officially, means no involvement: this is a feeling I struggle with sometimes. For the past several years, I've been involved(meaning mtgs attendance required and such) on campus, this year as my last year I decided not to be in a leadership role. As a senior, the transition from out of college and such starts soo early (career fair in fall, for potential full-time jobs next year). It's so odd, I wish I could still feel like a college kid and not as one getting ready to work full time. I've partially done this to myself by working part-time for my co-op company while I take classes. I'm not great at attending/feeling involved when it's not required/scheduled. ...a friend just reminded me about how our roles have changed as we've become the seniors it's harder to feel like there is someone older and wiser to gain/learn from. It's not that the "kids" underclassmen can't teach us things; it's that we always want someone to mirror and carve the path for. The amazing classes above us did that, though I never paid attention to how they made it through their senior years(I wish I had). I bet if I asked them they struggled with the same things too, though I would never have guessed it.
- raw, what we think we're alone in: struggling with, thinking about, wondering, doubting, etc.: ok, I remember on this one where I wanted to go, though I'm not sure how to convey it. It's always almost shocking(for lack of a better word) everytime I(we) here other people be completely honest about something there struggling with and I(we) never thought anyone else dealt with that. I guess it all stems from the fact I want to hide all my fears and failures(yes I realize that's in a song). What would it be like/how different would it be if I realized/let everyone see(s) my brokeness? Would people still be around, if they realized I struggle with this(see I don't even have guts to admit anything right now)? All I can hope is that someone will provide the "gift" of going first, so I can concur with them and encourage them that they are not alone. Is it considered "deep" conversations when we discuss our struggles? If we did it all the time, would it become a my horse is bigger than your horse or would they become as fleeting as our passing hellos? I can only hope and pray that I remain true to my name and am honest/truthful in all I say.
PS. listening to certain random songs on youtube/google, make me happy and laugh.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
so I missed August
So I'm a tiny bit late for August's post my excuse is August went like this:
do do do...dadada....wabam _September! ok maybe you couldn't follow that suffice it to say i went by really fast.
It's already the 3rd week of class, it hasn't felt like I've been back at college yet. It doesn't help that I haven't stayed a whole weekend at Tech yet, nor will I at least for another weekend. Life has brought its challenges and joys already.
I'm starting my post between classes, in hope that I'll come back to it later tonight.
Topics to discuss, aka ramble on:
- deep conversations
- relationships, maybe
- not being involved officially, means no involvement
- raw, what we think we're alone in: struggling with, thinking about, wondering, doubting, etc.
If you happen to read this and I haven't updated by Friday remind me about it.
I'm currently balancing taking a full load of classes, and working when I can; while balancing catching up with friends and getting stuff done before it's late.
do do do...dadada....wabam _September! ok maybe you couldn't follow that suffice it to say i went by really fast.
It's already the 3rd week of class, it hasn't felt like I've been back at college yet. It doesn't help that I haven't stayed a whole weekend at Tech yet, nor will I at least for another weekend. Life has brought its challenges and joys already.
I'm starting my post between classes, in hope that I'll come back to it later tonight.
Topics to discuss, aka ramble on:
- deep conversations
- relationships, maybe
- not being involved officially, means no involvement
- raw, what we think we're alone in: struggling with, thinking about, wondering, doubting, etc.
If you happen to read this and I haven't updated by Friday remind me about it.
I'm currently balancing taking a full load of classes, and working when I can; while balancing catching up with friends and getting stuff done before it's late.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Just made it before July is over
So far this year I've managed to post once a month and since I started this thing last year I've averaged a post a month so with out further ado here is July's. (I feel like that set it up to be some amazing post, so sorry to say it won't be)
Yet another semester at Tech has been completed, I can now officially say I'm a senior. This summer has been interesting to say the least at points my life was completely consumed with work for classes :(. For now though I have 2 weeks after this week before I start another semester of classes. You might be thinking aren't you supposed to be working isn't that how the whole co-op thing works, more or less yes and I will be working but only part time. I've currently concreted some plans to graduate!!! Ok wasn't that the plan all along yes but now I have an end date in theory, who knows God could completely change my plans which makes me nervous about planning so far in advance but I'm gonna trust that this is what He wants for me for now. So the plan: Fall take classes/work, Spring classes (senior design, trip prep class, etc) maybe work), and Summer: Study Abroad, work in between semesters, and graduate! I can't believe study abroad and graduating are looking very probable for next semester. I'm trying not to let my hopes get too high but I'm pumped to say the least. Let's see what else has happened this summer: friends have gotten married, amazing fellow civil friend is engaged!, and yet to come friend getting married and I'm a bridesmaid (not gonna lie I'm nervous about that).
Life is too comfortable at home, I found it easier to avoid school (good and bad), easier to just vegg out. I don't really like it. I have found two blogs this summer that are inspiring. I wish I was half the person these people are.
1. http://www.jumpdavidjump.typepad.com/
favorite quote so far: 'Shake Well, Settling is Natural' - Good things in life (much like tasty orange juice) seem to happen after shaking, not settling. (You'll have to read the blog to fully grasp the idea but I love it.
2. http://number7widowsmite.blogspot.com/ This blog is close to my heart b/c my brother knows Bob and Joyce and met the kids right before the rescue. I hope to find some way to help them soon. I love reading about their adventures and praying for them.
Hope you find something that keeps you uncomfortable!
Yet another semester at Tech has been completed, I can now officially say I'm a senior. This summer has been interesting to say the least at points my life was completely consumed with work for classes :(. For now though I have 2 weeks after this week before I start another semester of classes. You might be thinking aren't you supposed to be working isn't that how the whole co-op thing works, more or less yes and I will be working but only part time. I've currently concreted some plans to graduate!!! Ok wasn't that the plan all along yes but now I have an end date in theory, who knows God could completely change my plans which makes me nervous about planning so far in advance but I'm gonna trust that this is what He wants for me for now. So the plan: Fall take classes/work, Spring classes (senior design, trip prep class, etc) maybe work), and Summer: Study Abroad, work in between semesters, and graduate! I can't believe study abroad and graduating are looking very probable for next semester. I'm trying not to let my hopes get too high but I'm pumped to say the least. Let's see what else has happened this summer: friends have gotten married, amazing fellow civil friend is engaged!, and yet to come friend getting married and I'm a bridesmaid (not gonna lie I'm nervous about that).
Life is too comfortable at home, I found it easier to avoid school (good and bad), easier to just vegg out. I don't really like it. I have found two blogs this summer that are inspiring. I wish I was half the person these people are.
1. http://www.jumpdavidjump.typepad.com/
favorite quote so far: 'Shake Well, Settling is Natural' - Good things in life (much like tasty orange juice) seem to happen after shaking, not settling. (You'll have to read the blog to fully grasp the idea but I love it.
2. http://number7widowsmite.blogspot.com/ This blog is close to my heart b/c my brother knows Bob and Joyce and met the kids right before the rescue. I hope to find some way to help them soon. I love reading about their adventures and praying for them.
Hope you find something that keeps you uncomfortable!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Motorcycle's and Judgement
So for those of you who don't know I own and ride a motorcycle. Ok ... hold on a sec I know what you're thinking: "You're crazy...don't you know they're dangerous...you're gonna kill yourself..." ...I'm having a momentary lapse on what else I've heard, believe me I've heard it all. I'm not exactly sure why I'm blogging about it, but I've heard/read a lot lately about judging. Anywhere from being prejudged for being a girl in an engineer's world. To thinking we're better than the "stars" who subcumb to the stuff that comes with fame, money, sex, drugs, etc. Who's saying we wouldn't do the same thing if we were in that situation. Who's saying because I'm young I can't do something or learn.
It bugs me when people just assume something based on seeing one thing. For instance seeing a motorcycle accident, this does not mean automatically that the driver was young, stupid, or reckless. This is what a lot of people assume all because they see motorcycles weaving in between cars at a high speed. This is a small percentage of actual drivers who do this. This judgment has always bugged me I have always had a lot of respect for motorcycles even before I got my license.
This really got to me Tuesday afternoon/evening. I was on one of my trips to check on the dogs and passed a motorcycle accident on the other side/in the median. (see here for a pic: http://www.myfoxatlanta.com/dpp/news/Motorcycle_Crashes_on_I575_Killing_One_060209) I knew as soon as I saw it that it had not ended well, when I got to the house I immediately checked to see if there was any news, see if it was anyone I knew. I found one article (http://www.11alive.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=130941&catid=8) and at the bottom of the page were already comments judging this human being. It really made me mad that people automatically assumed that this man had being doing something wrong. Have you never had an accident? Did you ever do everything right and still have something go wrong? I wish I could say I don't make snap judgments when I see something but I can't. I just hope and pray that the next time I go to judge I just pray. I can't help but pray for this family. Anyways, I should stop wasting your time with my rant. I hope you pray for the people next time you want to assume something. I know I'll try to. Please call me on it if I don't!
It bugs me when people just assume something based on seeing one thing. For instance seeing a motorcycle accident, this does not mean automatically that the driver was young, stupid, or reckless. This is what a lot of people assume all because they see motorcycles weaving in between cars at a high speed. This is a small percentage of actual drivers who do this. This judgment has always bugged me I have always had a lot of respect for motorcycles even before I got my license.
This really got to me Tuesday afternoon/evening. I was on one of my trips to check on the dogs and passed a motorcycle accident on the other side/in the median. (see here for a pic: http://www.myfoxatlanta.com/dpp/news/Motorcycle_Crashes_on_I575_Killing_One_060209) I knew as soon as I saw it that it had not ended well, when I got to the house I immediately checked to see if there was any news, see if it was anyone I knew. I found one article (http://www.11alive.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=130941&catid=8) and at the bottom of the page were already comments judging this human being. It really made me mad that people automatically assumed that this man had being doing something wrong. Have you never had an accident? Did you ever do everything right and still have something go wrong? I wish I could say I don't make snap judgments when I see something but I can't. I just hope and pray that the next time I go to judge I just pray. I can't help but pray for this family. Anyways, I should stop wasting your time with my rant. I hope you pray for the people next time you want to assume something. I know I'll try to. Please call me on it if I don't!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Challenged with Lately
This post is being delayed for the time being, to be revisited at a later date, hopefully sooner than later.
Ok so after a nights sleep I feel slightly better to write at least it will be slightly more coherent.
-John the Baptist doubted? I probably knew this before today aka I have read the story before but it never really processed like it did yesterday. John the Baptist someone who knew from in the womb that Jesus was the Messiah (see Luke 1:5-25, & 39-45). God's hand had been on his life from before he was born in the most seemingly visible way that I've ever really realized. I would love to know my purpose in life like he had, that he was to prepare the way for the Chosen One! I never felt a true connection to John before now, I mean he knew Jesus, he was cousins with Him for goodness sake. He always appeared in my mind to have it altogether being perfect almost probably closest in mind to Jesus. The pastor at my parents church said this statement and it made me wonder and want to look it up. Here are the places you kind find John the Baptist:
John's birth: Luke 1
John preparing the way: Matthew 3 _Mark 1_Luke 3_John1, 3
John doubts: Matt. 11_Luke7
John's death: Matt. 14_Mark 6
So doubt is a strong word and maybe it wasn't the same kind of doubt that I've felt in my life before as much as John questioning God. John knew his purpose and was acting on it yet when Jesus, the one he was preparing the way for came along things didn't go exactly as he thought. I don't know John's exact thoughts and ideas as for how the Messiah would come but I have to think that he believed Christ would come in and take over ruling Israel in a very real tangible sense, that he'd be king and Rome would no longer control Israel. John essentially asks Jesus: Are you really the one I prepared the way for? Jesus answers John with Look at what I am doing. The rest of John's story concludes with his being put in prison and then beheaded b/c of what he believed. What an amazing man.
Back to my connection with John: I recently have had God take my plans and throw them in a shredder of sorts. I had (key word I) come up with this grand plan of how I was going to finish out my college career to me it seemed absolutely perfect and flawless, I was gonna have enough money to pay for classes and even to study abroad one semester. As I stated before this has all been tossed to the wind, it's extremely frustrating on oh so many levels. It has put me taking classes this summer, and left me unsure to the extent of whether I will be taking classes in the fall or not. It has once again put me back to not knowing exactly when I'll graduate. I'm a 4th year college student who has worked 5 semesters off and on to pay for school while a lot of my friends graduated a couple weeks ago or will graduate by the end of this year and all I can say when people ask(which happens alot, especially when you reach my age): so you're about done right/when do you graduate? I don't know. I love to know things, I love to at least have a glimpse of what a movie is about before I see it, what the plans are for a trip, I like to be prepared. To some extent I had been in the I don't know space before these past couple months but I had a very rough idea and had come to accept that and be content with that. Now I don't really have even a rough idea, which is extremely disconcerting. I feel like John asking God "But I thought this is how you wanted it to play out" God has been answering me with a lot of encouragement which I'm very grateful for. However, as one who is far from perfect still wonder and ask why sometimes.
Enough of this though: I want to give testament to how God who loves me has encouraged me. Back up to 2 weeks ago, work has been extremely slow and the BCM has a yearly trip to Panama City Beach for a planning retreat. God allowed me to go on the retreat b/c what is not great work=slow. So +1 for God, turning something bad into good, he does this alot and it confuses me like crazy! Next I was mainly looking at the trip as my only vacation for the Summer, since I'll be taking classes and they start tomorrow, with no real expectations about anything else. I didn't really hope to get alot out of it. As the week started it was what I had expected fun and relaxing but beyond that nothing spectacular. Then the night before we're supposed to leave (why does God always show up this night?) at the very end of everything we went out to the beach to pray for each other. First off the guys (about 34) of them went and prayed for the girls(approx. 11, yay Tech ratio) then the girls prayed for the guys. This experience was extremely humbling and overwhelming for me. I had a couple very good friends pray out loud for me, and I have alot of respect for them, I look up to these guys. Their prayers were so encouraging and challenging, I wish I had a tape recorder so I could replay it everytime I get discouraged about whether God is using me. After we had finished praying, we were free to do whatever, hang out, go back and sleep, anything, I chose to sit at the edge of everyone and try to process it all. I was so so overwhelmed it by far will be one of my greatest memories. I've set it up as a marker of sorts in my life to remind me where I've been and most importantly of what God has done! The night did not end there for me at least, God continued to provide encouragement and challenges through some really great conversations with friends. From a deep heart-felt Thank you, to a talk with a young Lady that has come to me for advice, I have no earthly idea why, to sitting on the beach being immersed in the enormity of it all yet not having to sit alone. I'm so Thankful for the encouragement and love God has shown to me through friends. I love that he has given me friends that will sit with me as I simply don't know what to do and process everything. So as frustrated as I may get with my plans being tossed away I will look back and say My God is amazing and has better things planned for me. My plans will only ever be as good as I can make them. God's plans are so unfathomable and so much more than my finite brain can understand that I will gladly take those though I may not understand them.
I believe I shall stop there for now though there is more to discuss about what God has brought to mind in just yesterday!
- PS One of my dear friends has started a new project check it out let it challenge you: http://4ddays.blogspot.com/
Ok so after a nights sleep I feel slightly better to write at least it will be slightly more coherent.
-John the Baptist doubted? I probably knew this before today aka I have read the story before but it never really processed like it did yesterday. John the Baptist someone who knew from in the womb that Jesus was the Messiah (see Luke 1:5-25, & 39-45). God's hand had been on his life from before he was born in the most seemingly visible way that I've ever really realized. I would love to know my purpose in life like he had, that he was to prepare the way for the Chosen One! I never felt a true connection to John before now, I mean he knew Jesus, he was cousins with Him for goodness sake. He always appeared in my mind to have it altogether being perfect almost probably closest in mind to Jesus. The pastor at my parents church said this statement and it made me wonder and want to look it up. Here are the places you kind find John the Baptist:
John's birth: Luke 1
John preparing the way: Matthew 3 _Mark 1_Luke 3_John1, 3
John doubts: Matt. 11_Luke7
John's death: Matt. 14_Mark 6
So doubt is a strong word and maybe it wasn't the same kind of doubt that I've felt in my life before as much as John questioning God. John knew his purpose and was acting on it yet when Jesus, the one he was preparing the way for came along things didn't go exactly as he thought. I don't know John's exact thoughts and ideas as for how the Messiah would come but I have to think that he believed Christ would come in and take over ruling Israel in a very real tangible sense, that he'd be king and Rome would no longer control Israel. John essentially asks Jesus: Are you really the one I prepared the way for? Jesus answers John with Look at what I am doing. The rest of John's story concludes with his being put in prison and then beheaded b/c of what he believed. What an amazing man.
Back to my connection with John: I recently have had God take my plans and throw them in a shredder of sorts. I had (key word I) come up with this grand plan of how I was going to finish out my college career to me it seemed absolutely perfect and flawless, I was gonna have enough money to pay for classes and even to study abroad one semester. As I stated before this has all been tossed to the wind, it's extremely frustrating on oh so many levels. It has put me taking classes this summer, and left me unsure to the extent of whether I will be taking classes in the fall or not. It has once again put me back to not knowing exactly when I'll graduate. I'm a 4th year college student who has worked 5 semesters off and on to pay for school while a lot of my friends graduated a couple weeks ago or will graduate by the end of this year and all I can say when people ask(which happens alot, especially when you reach my age): so you're about done right/when do you graduate? I don't know. I love to know things, I love to at least have a glimpse of what a movie is about before I see it, what the plans are for a trip, I like to be prepared. To some extent I had been in the I don't know space before these past couple months but I had a very rough idea and had come to accept that and be content with that. Now I don't really have even a rough idea, which is extremely disconcerting. I feel like John asking God "But I thought this is how you wanted it to play out" God has been answering me with a lot of encouragement which I'm very grateful for. However, as one who is far from perfect still wonder and ask why sometimes.
Enough of this though: I want to give testament to how God who loves me has encouraged me. Back up to 2 weeks ago, work has been extremely slow and the BCM has a yearly trip to Panama City Beach for a planning retreat. God allowed me to go on the retreat b/c what is not great work=slow. So +1 for God, turning something bad into good, he does this alot and it confuses me like crazy! Next I was mainly looking at the trip as my only vacation for the Summer, since I'll be taking classes and they start tomorrow, with no real expectations about anything else. I didn't really hope to get alot out of it. As the week started it was what I had expected fun and relaxing but beyond that nothing spectacular. Then the night before we're supposed to leave (why does God always show up this night?) at the very end of everything we went out to the beach to pray for each other. First off the guys (about 34) of them went and prayed for the girls(approx. 11, yay Tech ratio) then the girls prayed for the guys. This experience was extremely humbling and overwhelming for me. I had a couple very good friends pray out loud for me, and I have alot of respect for them, I look up to these guys. Their prayers were so encouraging and challenging, I wish I had a tape recorder so I could replay it everytime I get discouraged about whether God is using me. After we had finished praying, we were free to do whatever, hang out, go back and sleep, anything, I chose to sit at the edge of everyone and try to process it all. I was so so overwhelmed it by far will be one of my greatest memories. I've set it up as a marker of sorts in my life to remind me where I've been and most importantly of what God has done! The night did not end there for me at least, God continued to provide encouragement and challenges through some really great conversations with friends. From a deep heart-felt Thank you, to a talk with a young Lady that has come to me for advice, I have no earthly idea why, to sitting on the beach being immersed in the enormity of it all yet not having to sit alone. I'm so Thankful for the encouragement and love God has shown to me through friends. I love that he has given me friends that will sit with me as I simply don't know what to do and process everything. So as frustrated as I may get with my plans being tossed away I will look back and say My God is amazing and has better things planned for me. My plans will only ever be as good as I can make them. God's plans are so unfathomable and so much more than my finite brain can understand that I will gladly take those though I may not understand them.
I believe I shall stop there for now though there is more to discuss about what God has brought to mind in just yesterday!
- PS One of my dear friends has started a new project check it out let it challenge you: http://4ddays.blogspot.com/
Sunday, April 19, 2009
What is Your Anthem?
I really liked the question that I read today: http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/2009/04/whats-your-anthem.html . Here is my response; what's yours?
So, I don't know if anyone else has used this, but the Anthem of my short 21 year life so far has been the old hymn "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus"(see below for lyrics) along with the verses: Hebrews 12:2-3 ("Let us fix our eyes upon Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.")
Though you did not specifically ask why but just "what is your anthem," here's why for me anyways. This is my anthem b/c every time I think I can go through life on my own I quickly discover usually through a not so joyous situation that I cannot. I all to often lose hope in my situation (especially with working and going to school at GT). Then there's of course everything outside of the physical realm, relationships with family, friends, now ex-boyfriends. I know that when I do not focus on my heavenly Daddy who has carried me through so much I cannot make it. So this hymn and these verses help remind me of where my eyes should be looking.
(side note: I was first introduced to this hymn through a production talking about what Peter's life would have looked like nowadays; God spoke through the music so much that me, a very quiet and shy person, stood up in a front of a huge sanctuary (FBCW, GA) full of D-Now kids and rededicate my life or truly dedicate at age 13, talk about terrified and so unsure except about who LOVED me).
I hope that this at least encourages someone out there.
Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus:
O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s a light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion—
For more than conquerors we are!
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
So, I don't know if anyone else has used this, but the Anthem of my short 21 year life so far has been the old hymn "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus"(see below for lyrics) along with the verses: Hebrews 12:2-3 ("Let us fix our eyes upon Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.")
Though you did not specifically ask why but just "what is your anthem," here's why for me anyways. This is my anthem b/c every time I think I can go through life on my own I quickly discover usually through a not so joyous situation that I cannot. I all to often lose hope in my situation (especially with working and going to school at GT). Then there's of course everything outside of the physical realm, relationships with family, friends, now ex-boyfriends. I know that when I do not focus on my heavenly Daddy who has carried me through so much I cannot make it. So this hymn and these verses help remind me of where my eyes should be looking.
(side note: I was first introduced to this hymn through a production talking about what Peter's life would have looked like nowadays; God spoke through the music so much that me, a very quiet and shy person, stood up in a front of a huge sanctuary (FBCW, GA) full of D-Now kids and rededicate my life or truly dedicate at age 13, talk about terrified and so unsure except about who LOVED me).
I hope that this at least encourages someone out there.
Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus:
O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s a light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion—
For more than conquerors we are!
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Take a Look
- cute and funny little kid, kind of an old video but oh well: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4921695367007985654&ei=mvrCSb-8I4L8rgL1oKX5Cw&q=6+year+old+ethan+piano+on+tonight+show&hl=en
- reminds me of a funny thing I heard a kid say in the bathroom of a restaurant. It struck me as funny when I heard it though it may not seem funny to y'all(I have a slightly offbeat sense of humor). Anyways, this kid is about 3 or 4 and in the stall, while mom is standing outside waiting for her to finish. The mom asks: "Honey(or whatever the kids name was) are you done?" response: "No I gotta go poopy" (not the funny part), Mom: "Well, do you need to go now or can you wait until we get done at the restaurant? Can you go at home?" (Notice the last question, now the funny part) Kid: "Yeah, I go at home all the time." I'm still not sure exactly why it's funny, but maybe it's the honest truthful answer to the question just not the type of answer desired, who knows.
- Next link is to a blog/article one entry that I found, it was interesting: Where have all the Cowboys/Worship Leaders gone? http://timgrandstaff.com/?p=18
Ok, the next 2 are about how God is working here and there:
- First off this week is Spring Break for Tech, this year I had to work and could not go on a mission trip with the BCM. This year there were 3 trips, Numbered, Asheville(aka Cyndi's Magical Mystery Bus Tour), and Beach Reach. The past 2 years I had been able to go on the Beach Reach Trip, I was really bummed about not going on a trip at all. However I have been blessed by being able to watch live feed of prayer requests and video feed of worship. Check it out and continue to be in prayer for them as they have one more week after tonight: http://www.bwebdesign.net/beachreachlive/
- This next blog has a small tie into the one above. Last year my group had the pleasure of sharing the bottom of a house with a group of girls from Texas and 2 amazing ladies who flew all the way from Utah! (They were the only ones from there group, what courage!) Anyways I facebook friended them and have kept up with them a little. One of the girls, Jarah, is over in Africa working as a mission trip. I've been reading her blog and it's been so encouraging to see how God is working on the other side of the globe! So go take a look: http://brightredcords.blogspot.com/
- reminds me of a funny thing I heard a kid say in the bathroom of a restaurant. It struck me as funny when I heard it though it may not seem funny to y'all(I have a slightly offbeat sense of humor). Anyways, this kid is about 3 or 4 and in the stall, while mom is standing outside waiting for her to finish. The mom asks: "Honey(or whatever the kids name was) are you done?" response: "No I gotta go poopy" (not the funny part), Mom: "Well, do you need to go now or can you wait until we get done at the restaurant? Can you go at home?" (Notice the last question, now the funny part) Kid: "Yeah, I go at home all the time." I'm still not sure exactly why it's funny, but maybe it's the honest truthful answer to the question just not the type of answer desired, who knows.
- Next link is to a blog/article one entry that I found, it was interesting: Where have all the Cowboys/Worship Leaders gone? http://timgrandstaff.com/?p=18
Ok, the next 2 are about how God is working here and there:
- First off this week is Spring Break for Tech, this year I had to work and could not go on a mission trip with the BCM. This year there were 3 trips, Numbered, Asheville(aka Cyndi's Magical Mystery Bus Tour), and Beach Reach. The past 2 years I had been able to go on the Beach Reach Trip, I was really bummed about not going on a trip at all. However I have been blessed by being able to watch live feed of prayer requests and video feed of worship. Check it out and continue to be in prayer for them as they have one more week after tonight: http://www.bwebdesign.net/beachreachlive/
- This next blog has a small tie into the one above. Last year my group had the pleasure of sharing the bottom of a house with a group of girls from Texas and 2 amazing ladies who flew all the way from Utah! (They were the only ones from there group, what courage!) Anyways I facebook friended them and have kept up with them a little. One of the girls, Jarah, is over in Africa working as a mission trip. I've been reading her blog and it's been so encouraging to see how God is working on the other side of the globe! So go take a look: http://brightredcords.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Somewhere Over the Rainbow
http://sciencedude.freedomblogging.com/files/2009/02/endofrain1.jpg
Just a really cool picture that I thought was worth sharing.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Two in One
Here's the before mentioned "free write," all thoughts are welcome, these are each a pairing of words from my head that kinda mean something to me.
Two and One
Steady and Change
Unique and Same
Country and (City)Classy
Antique and Modern
Rose and Wildflowers
Mountain and Beach
Sun and (Snow)Storm
Listen and (Speak up)Voice
Goofy and Serious
Raw and Callous
Overflow and Thirst
Impossible and Omnipotent
Concrete and Abstract
Shatter and Heal
Sacrifice and Gain(Win)
Death and Life
Mud and Crystal(clear)
Humble and Cocky
Clean and Dusty
Create and Disassemble
Rest and Energy
Free and Imprisoned
Forever and Now
Rooted and Floating(Drifting)
Candle and Blackhole
Read and Write(Express)
Terrified/Uncertain and Sure/Reliant
Desperate and Content
Serve and Lead
Balance and Teeter(Fall)
(Edgy and Soft)
(Alone and Surrounded)
(Redemption and Unworthy)
(Love and Denial)
*() stuff inside was added after original note/in creation of this blog
Two and One
Steady and Change
Unique and Same
Country and (City)Classy
Antique and Modern
Rose and Wildflowers
Mountain and Beach
Sun and (Snow)Storm
Listen and (Speak up)Voice
Goofy and Serious
Raw and Callous
Overflow and Thirst
Impossible and Omnipotent
Concrete and Abstract
Shatter and Heal
Sacrifice and Gain(Win)
Death and Life
Mud and Crystal(clear)
Humble and Cocky
Clean and Dusty
Create and Disassemble
Rest and Energy
Free and Imprisoned
Forever and Now
Rooted and Floating(Drifting)
Candle and Blackhole
Read and Write(Express)
Terrified/Uncertain and Sure/Reliant
Desperate and Content
Serve and Lead
Balance and Teeter(Fall)
(Edgy and Soft)
(Alone and Surrounded)
(Redemption and Unworthy)
(Love and Denial)
*() stuff inside was added after original note/in creation of this blog
Reference for the Future and such
All of this has been found via friends and such.
- Using Children's energy to create energy(might be something to incorporate into personal property):
http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Playing+around+and+around+...+This+merry-go-round+works+while+kids...-a0181672715
- Cool New Charity(started by a friend I look forward to helping this grow): http://www.the214project.org/index.html
- Challenge to Leaders (Catalyst video of Andy Stanley worth watching):
http://coffeeshopjournal.com/2008/10/11/catalyst-08-andy-stanley-closing-session/
- Nervous System (Really Unique Jewelry, that is customizeable, haven't had the chance to fully play with it but such an awesome concept created by nerds like me, albeit much much smarter): http://n-e-r-v-o-u-s.com/index.php
I believe that's all for those right now. Feel free to let me know what you think about them. In a bit I'm going to post another post that's really a "free write" that happened within 20 mins or so, it might get expanded, but I'm really curious as to what people might say about it.
- Using Children's energy to create energy(might be something to incorporate into personal property):
http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Playing+around+and+around+...+This+merry-go-round+works+while+kids...-a0181672715
- Cool New Charity(started by a friend I look forward to helping this grow): http://www.the214project.org/index.html
- Challenge to Leaders (Catalyst video of Andy Stanley worth watching):
http://coffeeshopjournal.com/2008/10/11/catalyst-08-andy-stanley-closing-session/
- Nervous System (Really Unique Jewelry, that is customizeable, haven't had the chance to fully play with it but such an awesome concept created by nerds like me, albeit much much smarter): http://n-e-r-v-o-u-s.com/index.php
I believe that's all for those right now. Feel free to let me know what you think about them. In a bit I'm going to post another post that's really a "free write" that happened within 20 mins or so, it might get expanded, but I'm really curious as to what people might say about it.
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