Update-Learning

Just wanted to take a moment and update as some of you should. ;)
First off God blessed me and I made it out of that semester. It was definitely rough as the previous post stated but He loves me, I don't understand why, and brought me through it even helped me pull out Bs and Cs amazingly no Ds or Fs as I was worried about. He definitely had His hand in it all not just classes, if you need proof I can explain more later. I may not know why some things happened or what have you but I just trust that there was a reason for it.
I feel like I'm starting to learn again, I'm not sure what yet but I have a feeling God's got something on his mind that I need to learn or maybe even relearn.
Oh by the way I've had a great much needed break. It's hard to believe I still have the rest of this week before work starts back sounds to good to be true. Hope each of you have had a great Christmas and are looking forward to the start of a New Year!

Prayer & a Poem (not related)

I would just like to take a moment to ask for prayer. This semester has seemed really rough at points and I'm not entirely sure why it feels worse than those that have passed but I've been struggling lately and I hate it. I feel like I've been way too self-focused and let a lot of people down. So I humbly ask that you just say a quick prayer for me as I try to finish out this semester strong. Thanks.

This is a poem I saw on a blog(http://www.tommyadams.org/) I found through a friend's blog, just thought it was interesting and I must say I wholeheartedly agree with it's sentiment. Hope you enjoy it.
"The Mourning of Imagination"
I used to live in a land
In which dreams were but a whisper away
A fantastic world of beginnings
Where innocence went out to play.

A canvas untouched by the darkness
Where colors were named by the light
A garden of infinite beauty
That bent to the artist's delight.

A page of unyielding adventure
Where heroes were made of mere men
A place of such pure innovation
That flowed from the tip of a pen.

A symphony of majestic melodies
That bade me to move and to love
Where harmony dwelt with creation
And danced upon clouds up above

Now my dreams are another year older
And my vision has dimmed to be sure
The colors are drowning in sorrow
The battle has lost its allure.

The music has faded to silence
My heart beats with its rhythm no more
Afraid to move in the darkness
Fearing what life has in store.

Return me to that place I plead
Where dreams are but a whisper away
That fantastic world of beginnings
Where innocence goes out to play.

Fall Break

Fall Break is finally here!!!!!!!!!! Ok so it actually started Friday for most and Thursday for those extremely lucky people but for me I could not actually consider it started until after I had finished my ethics paper by 3am Saturday morning. Friday was still fun despite remaining at Tech and spending several hours writing a paper, I know I'm lame. Saturday was ok, until I finally made it home then things got better. The cookout was ok, kinda stunk that we didn't make it into the game until 10 minutes(Football clock) had passed in the first quarter. I must say I understand in part the whole swipe the buzzcard system BUT you need more than 2-3 machines out there so students don't have to wait 15 minutes, our games aren't that amazing yet it's still frustrating to miss part of the game (this problem also occurred at Six Flags Night costing each student at least one good roller coaster ride aka Batman/Superman not Ninja or Mindbender who's lines are significatnly shorter) also make the machines faster and more senisitive to those of us students with their orignal buzzcards.
Anyways, I left part way into the 2nd quarter after the touchdown, so I could finally go home. I know some may say I'm a fairweather fan but the jackets simply weren't playing well and I wanted the chance to ride when I got home. Thus far I've been able to get a lot of what I wanted to get done accomplished.

Here's an interesting verse which I've heard before yet it always pops up around the best time for me to rediscover it: “Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.” - Provers 19:20-21

Avoiding Work

Oh man, I'm trying to find things to do to avoid hw/paper. I'm succeeding so far without much effort. My brain has decided it's the weekend and it's very hard to focus when I get like this, I become extremely ADD almost hyper.
So, things that I've been thinking about:
- I really like the new Knight Rider(tv show) mainly b/c of Kit (an amazing AI Ford mustang) plus this week's episode(the 2nd of the season) had several absolutely beautiful cars! (I'm talking hot exotics and classics: Ford GT 500, FerrariS, LambourghiniS, etc.) Makes me want to drive one even more, I miss driving. I wish I could race cars, and had more time to work on/drive them.
- This weather makes me miss my horse sooo much! It's perfect riding weather, I'm so ready for fall break.
- I'm excited for a random road trip to the beach this weekend!
I am DEFINITELY in a hyper, random, dancing/singing, crazy mood.
...
Another thing that has been on my mind a lot lately has to do with last week. I'm not sure how much I'll delve into things on here, feel free to ask me in person and I may let you in on more. Anyways, I had an extremely rough week, probably one of the roughest of my life, at least here in college. Start with I had 3 tests all in 2 days, stressful in and of itself especially when my grades are already struggling but then again I've never been an A/B student. Then Tuesday I had a challenging conversation(one-sided, essentially a lecture and was given an ultimatum). Needless to say it doesn't really matter who was involved or what was said, I was just extremely upset (enough to make me cry I almost completely lost it and I don't cry very often it has been years since I've cried, which in a way makes me more upset). Then I woke up Wednesday morning sick which again does not happen often it's been years and I believe it was at least partially due to stress and Tuesday. Well, as you can tell it was rough I felt attacked from all sides. All this to say God is amazing, He provided friends who I could talk to, who were willing to share my burden and pray for me, He healed me, He gave me encouragement and direction. He is my love and redeemer who I am not worthy to serve. He has blessed me so much and I don't thank or talk to Him enough. Know that God loves everyone of you!

Thanks

I just want to take a moment to thank all of my friends who have knowingly and without realizing it encourage me. As some of my friends have observed this semester has stressed me out a lot more so I think than previous semester's especially this early on.
So Thank you:
- for being there for me
- for supporting my decisions
- for calling me out
- for listening
- for talking
- for picking up where I lacked
- for being understanding
- for all the little things
Thank you, I don't believe I can convey how truly grateful I am. God has blessed me so much.

semi-random

This question was posed to me randomly tonight. How do you feel about the beach?
My response: mmmm.... I enjoy the beach as a vacation, it's a reminder of God's beauty and enormousness(sp?), I love walking on the beach, I don't like feeling sticky, I love it at night for long walks and endless conversations/dreams, I love playing on it during the day with friends and family, I miss it at points, I don't know if I could ever live there b/c I don't want to ever get used to it and have it lose the specialness and magic(sorry for the bad grammar), There's a sense of openness, honesty, change, fragility, fear, power at the beach.
Needless to say it was a much longer explanation than my friend was looking for, oh well.

Here's a verse I found by happenstance that is encouraging and challenging to me (thought you might enjoy it): “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.”-1 John 4:16.

Also, this verse kinda goes along with the Bible Study for Freshmen I'm helping with this year: “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.” -James 3:13.

Anyways here is your question of the day: How do you feel about the beach?(You can answer simply or expand and answer as if it asks "What do you feel about the beach?" either way.)

Goodnight

late

So I didn't quite realize just how long it's been since I wrote last and what I had written about.
I must warn you though this is not an infrequent problem because I never have time and I'm not a good writer and don't enjoy it like others do. If you notice the time on each post it will reflect that unless it's after midnight the majority of the time I am not able to just sit and write due to always doing something or being around people(I'm semi-ADD at points for example I love classical music and the Fox Theatre, also contrary to popular belief being able to go to the Fox is reason enough to go to a show. Something about that place is essentially magical.)
Anyways I never know what to write either.
I have trouble making decisions when other people are involved. I feel like I'm not a particularly picky person(others may disagree) and I hate the thought of picking something someone may not enjoy b/c I feel content doing whatever( I think the reason that is b/c it means someone is spending time with me and that means a whole lot to me).
Life has been absolutely nuts since I've been back at Tech for the semester. I'm having a hard time keeping up with everything, this is the first time where I truly believe I won't be able to finish everything not even considering the possibility of finishing strong. I may have bitten off more than I can chew but I feel like God led me to be involved in these things but I don't know I may have just been ignoring Him and being selfish. I'm so grateful to my friends who have helped me so much already by being understanding and doing little things to help.
I feel like I keep getting torn in two by decisions I'm making or need to make yet I can't figure out the "wise" choice and neither option outweighs the other.
I wish life could consist of simply serving God and not having to worry about everything else. ....of course it can be that way... I'm preaching to myself...God knows my heart and will help me through if only I would let Him. I've known this concept for seemingly forever yet I feel like I relearn it alot and this time when He's teaching me it may require I completely break(shatter even) for me to finally see past myself.
Ok this post is extremely "me" focused so I believe I will stop now before you get bored and I become even more self-centered.
PS. Happy Birthday David