This question was posed to me randomly tonight. How do you feel about the beach?
My response: mmmm.... I enjoy the beach as a vacation, it's a reminder of God's beauty and enormousness(sp?), I love walking on the beach, I don't like feeling sticky, I love it at night for long walks and endless conversations/dreams, I love playing on it during the day with friends and family, I miss it at points, I don't know if I could ever live there b/c I don't want to ever get used to it and have it lose the specialness and magic(sorry for the bad grammar), There's a sense of openness, honesty, change, fragility, fear, power at the beach.
Needless to say it was a much longer explanation than my friend was looking for, oh well.
Here's a verse I found by happenstance that is encouraging and challenging to me (thought you might enjoy it): “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.”-1 John 4:16.
Also, this verse kinda goes along with the Bible Study for Freshmen I'm helping with this year: “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.” -James 3:13.
Anyways here is your question of the day: How do you feel about the beach?(You can answer simply or expand and answer as if it asks "What do you feel about the beach?" either way.)
Goodnight
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
late
So I didn't quite realize just how long it's been since I wrote last and what I had written about.
I must warn you though this is not an infrequent problem because I never have time and I'm not a good writer and don't enjoy it like others do. If you notice the time on each post it will reflect that unless it's after midnight the majority of the time I am not able to just sit and write due to always doing something or being around people(I'm semi-ADD at points for example I love classical music and the Fox Theatre, also contrary to popular belief being able to go to the Fox is reason enough to go to a show. Something about that place is essentially magical.)
Anyways I never know what to write either.
I have trouble making decisions when other people are involved. I feel like I'm not a particularly picky person(others may disagree) and I hate the thought of picking something someone may not enjoy b/c I feel content doing whatever( I think the reason that is b/c it means someone is spending time with me and that means a whole lot to me).
Life has been absolutely nuts since I've been back at Tech for the semester. I'm having a hard time keeping up with everything, this is the first time where I truly believe I won't be able to finish everything not even considering the possibility of finishing strong. I may have bitten off more than I can chew but I feel like God led me to be involved in these things but I don't know I may have just been ignoring Him and being selfish. I'm so grateful to my friends who have helped me so much already by being understanding and doing little things to help.
I feel like I keep getting torn in two by decisions I'm making or need to make yet I can't figure out the "wise" choice and neither option outweighs the other.
I wish life could consist of simply serving God and not having to worry about everything else. ....of course it can be that way... I'm preaching to myself...God knows my heart and will help me through if only I would let Him. I've known this concept for seemingly forever yet I feel like I relearn it alot and this time when He's teaching me it may require I completely break(shatter even) for me to finally see past myself.
Ok this post is extremely "me" focused so I believe I will stop now before you get bored and I become even more self-centered.
PS. Happy Birthday David
I must warn you though this is not an infrequent problem because I never have time and I'm not a good writer and don't enjoy it like others do. If you notice the time on each post it will reflect that unless it's after midnight the majority of the time I am not able to just sit and write due to always doing something or being around people(I'm semi-ADD at points for example I love classical music and the Fox Theatre, also contrary to popular belief being able to go to the Fox is reason enough to go to a show. Something about that place is essentially magical.)
Anyways I never know what to write either.
I have trouble making decisions when other people are involved. I feel like I'm not a particularly picky person(others may disagree) and I hate the thought of picking something someone may not enjoy b/c I feel content doing whatever( I think the reason that is b/c it means someone is spending time with me and that means a whole lot to me).
Life has been absolutely nuts since I've been back at Tech for the semester. I'm having a hard time keeping up with everything, this is the first time where I truly believe I won't be able to finish everything not even considering the possibility of finishing strong. I may have bitten off more than I can chew but I feel like God led me to be involved in these things but I don't know I may have just been ignoring Him and being selfish. I'm so grateful to my friends who have helped me so much already by being understanding and doing little things to help.
I feel like I keep getting torn in two by decisions I'm making or need to make yet I can't figure out the "wise" choice and neither option outweighs the other.
I wish life could consist of simply serving God and not having to worry about everything else. ....of course it can be that way... I'm preaching to myself...God knows my heart and will help me through if only I would let Him. I've known this concept for seemingly forever yet I feel like I relearn it alot and this time when He's teaching me it may require I completely break(shatter even) for me to finally see past myself.
Ok this post is extremely "me" focused so I believe I will stop now before you get bored and I become even more self-centered.
PS. Happy Birthday David
Friday, July 11, 2008
Beach Reach
Stuff that's been said about Beach Reach by others aka for my own reference. I miss it!
Oh man, I could not describe my spring break in one sentence even if I tried. I do know that God showed up and in a big way. For me, this trip probably started at the beginning of this semester when I thought that I needed to go but had no idea where the money would come from. I still owe my parents money for school and books from this semester. The trip cost $370 plus spending money. My church paid for $100 but I was left with the rest. After weeks of doubting, I finally got a direct deposit totalling to $316 from taxes. How great is our God!
If I went though the entire week, this would be so incredibly long but I'm going to talk about a few of the many amazing things that God did.
The first night and our first day together as a group, we bonded so quickly. It was full of laughter and good times. It was amazing how different our personalities were but how perfectly we all meshed together. It was amazing how we were all quick to encourage and pray for each other. I love you guys!!
One of my prayers for the week was that we could cling to His many promises. Oh man, God's word just totally jumped off the page for me last week. It wasn't just certain passages, it was everything I read in there.
At the beginning of the week as we walked around and rode in the vans making conversations with other spring breakers, I felt a lot of pressure to steer the conversation. By Thursday, I finally realized that God is big enough to handle my converastion and if He wants it to go there, then it will, and not forcefully so. The last night, I walked around with Chris (we seriously walked like 4 or 5 miles!) . For the first 30 minutes out on the street we just walked and talked, and trusted God to guide our footsteps and put us in the right place in the right time. We decided to walk to waffle house. After about 2 minutes of standing outside the waffle house, a guy walked up and we asked how he was doing. He said "still breathing." We wished him a good night and then watched him go in and sit down by himself. Chris and I ended up going over and sitting with him as he ate. His name was Adam. He was a local Christian who has been burned by the Church. We ended up talking to him for an hour and a half almost. It was amazing though that the conversation flowed almost naturally to Jesus.
Then, after our conversation ended, we headed in the opposite direction, we caught up with another guy named Chris. Chris was walking to a club about a mile and half down the strip in the direction we were walking so we walked and talked with him. We were allowed the opportunity to present the gospel to Chris. We actually ended up walking a mile past the club where he intended to go before we turned back. Chris seemed to understand Jesus and his grace but also felt unready to make any kind of decision. That was a great converstaion too.
There were many others that I met that night who tugged at my heart and I pray that God used me despite my weakness.
One of the highlights of the week was the night when I stayed back in the prayer room. So when my team left, I went over to the prayer room, where I found some of the leaders hanging out. I got to meet them and joke around. They asked what I was doing that night and told them that I'd be in the prayer room while my team went out to do rides/street teams. So they asked if I 'd like to enter the prayer requests onto the blogsite as they came in all night. So that was what I ended up doing for about 6 hours. It was AMAZING!! I got to listen in as the other people in the prayer room prayed aloud and agree with them as they prayed and as I typed in the prayer requests that showed up on the screen of the prayer room. I also typed in praises where God had answered prayer. God is faithful!! He continues to amaze me with his mercy and faithfulness!
As I return to a test to study for, and other worries and doubts and fears, I am refreshed and feel better equiped for having gone to Beach Reach in Panama City, not to mention a little bit sun burnt. :-) "
If I went though the entire week, this would be so incredibly long but I'm going to talk about a few of the many amazing things that God did.
The first night and our first day together as a group, we bonded so quickly. It was full of laughter and good times. It was amazing how different our personalities were but how perfectly we all meshed together. It was amazing how we were all quick to encourage and pray for each other. I love you guys!!
One of my prayers for the week was that we could cling to His many promises. Oh man, God's word just totally jumped off the page for me last week. It wasn't just certain passages, it was everything I read in there.
At the beginning of the week as we walked around and rode in the vans making conversations with other spring breakers, I felt a lot of pressure to steer the conversation. By Thursday, I finally realized that God is big enough to handle my converastion and if He wants it to go there, then it will, and not forcefully so. The last night, I walked around with Chris (we seriously walked like 4 or 5 miles!) . For the first 30 minutes out on the street we just walked and talked, and trusted God to guide our footsteps and put us in the right place in the right time. We decided to walk to waffle house. After about 2 minutes of standing outside the waffle house, a guy walked up and we asked how he was doing. He said "still breathing." We wished him a good night and then watched him go in and sit down by himself. Chris and I ended up going over and sitting with him as he ate. His name was Adam. He was a local Christian who has been burned by the Church. We ended up talking to him for an hour and a half almost. It was amazing though that the conversation flowed almost naturally to Jesus.
Then, after our conversation ended, we headed in the opposite direction, we caught up with another guy named Chris. Chris was walking to a club about a mile and half down the strip in the direction we were walking so we walked and talked with him. We were allowed the opportunity to present the gospel to Chris. We actually ended up walking a mile past the club where he intended to go before we turned back. Chris seemed to understand Jesus and his grace but also felt unready to make any kind of decision. That was a great converstaion too.
There were many others that I met that night who tugged at my heart and I pray that God used me despite my weakness.
One of the highlights of the week was the night when I stayed back in the prayer room. So when my team left, I went over to the prayer room, where I found some of the leaders hanging out. I got to meet them and joke around. They asked what I was doing that night and told them that I'd be in the prayer room while my team went out to do rides/street teams. So they asked if I 'd like to enter the prayer requests onto the blogsite as they came in all night. So that was what I ended up doing for about 6 hours. It was AMAZING!! I got to listen in as the other people in the prayer room prayed aloud and agree with them as they prayed and as I typed in the prayer requests that showed up on the screen of the prayer room. I also typed in praises where God had answered prayer. God is faithful!! He continues to amaze me with his mercy and faithfulness!
As I return to a test to study for, and other worries and doubts and fears, I am refreshed and feel better equiped for having gone to Beach Reach in Panama City, not to mention a little bit sun burnt. :-) "
"Do you REALLY want to know??" - Beach Reach
"Who? MIKE JONES!" - Bryan Harris and me
"Who? MIKE WHALEN!" - Stephen Stegall
"You need a Man Friend!!" - Lance Butler
"Emily earned her beads!" - Bryan Harris
"You cold, Emily?" - Bryan Harris
"That is a Lance original!" - Lance Butler
"I passed a kidney stone, SON!" - Lance Butler
"If I don't have a 10 pound baby by the end of the night I'm gonna be disappointed!!" - Lance Butler
"Dad is great! Makes his chocolate cake!" - Chris Mize
"HERMAN!!" - Meredith Goolsby
"Calvin Johnson!!" - Juice
"All I remember is Pony on a stick!" - me
"That's exciting! I know more of the lyrics to Def Leppard than the drunk girl singing karaoke!" - me
"Cakes of the pan, devoid of cost!" - some Beach Reacher
"Sweet Action!" - Laurie
"I'm changing my shirt!" - Stephen Stegall
"Free Wife!" - Oliver Albrecht
"Everyone picks on the retard!" - Lance Butler
[said to Megan Smith] "Saucy Momma!" - Some drunk guy
Stegall - "It had two words and they both started with S... something Bomber..."
Me - "Bisquick Bomber?"
Stegall - "yeah!"
Me - "but neither of those start with S..."
Stegall - "Jerk"
"I met a high person!" - Meredith Goolsby
"Straight Up!" - Bryan Harris
"Foot Pansy!" - Chris Mize
"Pool Pansy!" - Chris Mize
"Hold it down like a fat kid on a seesaw!" - Lance Butler
Megan - "So are you an American citizen?"
Drunk German - "Not yet. Will you marry me?"
"Holy snap, crackle, pop!" - Lance Butler
Drunk guy - "Where the [heck] did you get the pony?"
Drunk German - "Don't ask me. Ask the pony, man!"
"That is a dude in a bra!" - Lance Butler
"Everyone lay a hand..." - Beach Reach
"We're NAKED!" - Brooke Oliver
"Who doesn't want to see an albino midget pop out of a cupcake?"
- Lance Butler
"Tell that vein in your forehead to chill out!"
- Lance Butler
"It was the perfect cup!"
- Lance Butler
"He loves Mexicans!"
- Jose from Morehead
"Just wait, when you get out, your nipples are gonna be harder than the SAT!"
- Bryan Harris
~This is all I could think of at the moment... if you remember something that I forgot, leave a comment and I'll add it! Thanks so much for making it an awesome trip guys!"
"Who? MIKE JONES!" - Bryan Harris and me
"Who? MIKE WHALEN!" - Stephen Stegall
"You need a Man Friend!!" - Lance Butler
"Emily earned her beads!" - Bryan Harris
"You cold, Emily?" - Bryan Harris
"That is a Lance original!" - Lance Butler
"I passed a kidney stone, SON!" - Lance Butler
"If I don't have a 10 pound baby by the end of the night I'm gonna be disappointed!!" - Lance Butler
"Dad is great! Makes his chocolate cake!" - Chris Mize
"HERMAN!!" - Meredith Goolsby
"Calvin Johnson!!" - Juice
"All I remember is Pony on a stick!" - me
"That's exciting! I know more of the lyrics to Def Leppard than the drunk girl singing karaoke!" - me
"Cakes of the pan, devoid of cost!" - some Beach Reacher
"Sweet Action!" - Laurie
"I'm changing my shirt!" - Stephen Stegall
"Free Wife!" - Oliver Albrecht
"Everyone picks on the retard!" - Lance Butler
[said to Megan Smith] "Saucy Momma!" - Some drunk guy
Stegall - "It had two words and they both started with S... something Bomber..."
Me - "Bisquick Bomber?"
Stegall - "yeah!"
Me - "but neither of those start with S..."
Stegall - "Jerk"
"I met a high person!" - Meredith Goolsby
"Straight Up!" - Bryan Harris
"Foot Pansy!" - Chris Mize
"Pool Pansy!" - Chris Mize
"Hold it down like a fat kid on a seesaw!" - Lance Butler
Megan - "So are you an American citizen?"
Drunk German - "Not yet. Will you marry me?"
"Holy snap, crackle, pop!" - Lance Butler
Drunk guy - "Where the [heck] did you get the pony?"
Drunk German - "Don't ask me. Ask the pony, man!"
"That is a dude in a bra!" - Lance Butler
"Everyone lay a hand..." - Beach Reach
"We're NAKED!" - Brooke Oliver
"Who doesn't want to see an albino midget pop out of a cupcake?"
- Lance Butler
"Tell that vein in your forehead to chill out!"
- Lance Butler
"It was the perfect cup!"
- Lance Butler
"He loves Mexicans!"
- Jose from Morehead
"Just wait, when you get out, your nipples are gonna be harder than the SAT!"
- Bryan Harris
~This is all I could think of at the moment... if you remember something that I forgot, leave a comment and I'll add it! Thanks so much for making it an awesome trip guys!"
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Life Happened
blah.. why did life have to get stressful again. I was having enough on my plate trying to see what God is doing, now "life" has hit again.
projects have hit the fan again and one extremely nightmarish one has come back for revisions
im working on buying a motorcycle, my mom's not happy but everyone else, in my family at least, is supportive. I know I'm "crazy," it's dangerous, I don't need to hear it anymore I've made my choice.
Im trying to sort things out with some people, and don't know what to do/say
So often I feel like I'm making progress and growing then seemingly "life" happens, things just pop up that require attention and place the other on the back burner. It's like I'm climbing up this mountain face and as soon as I really am able to stretch and reach out and over the next outcrops I have to stop to eat, sleep, fix my straps, etc. Each of these things are vital to my existence yet they delay the obtainment of my ultimate goal yet I can't not do them and expect to reach the top. I guess I just need to learn to better balance each aspect.
projects have hit the fan again and one extremely nightmarish one has come back for revisions
im working on buying a motorcycle, my mom's not happy but everyone else, in my family at least, is supportive. I know I'm "crazy," it's dangerous, I don't need to hear it anymore I've made my choice.
Im trying to sort things out with some people, and don't know what to do/say
So often I feel like I'm making progress and growing then seemingly "life" happens, things just pop up that require attention and place the other on the back burner. It's like I'm climbing up this mountain face and as soon as I really am able to stretch and reach out and over the next outcrops I have to stop to eat, sleep, fix my straps, etc. Each of these things are vital to my existence yet they delay the obtainment of my ultimate goal yet I can't not do them and expect to reach the top. I guess I just need to learn to better balance each aspect.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Peace beyond all understanding
I love how God is so in control of my life. Lately, He's been reminding me of things He has taught me and showing me things He is teaching me that I hadn't realized. Quick bullet points are:
- He is in control of every detail
- To love like He does I must be willing to accept love
- His peace and grace surpass all understanding
- He is continually working on and in me
- He has blessed me with so much, in experiences, glimpsing how He may be using me, family, friends that aren't afraid to say what they should
- for allowing me to do the best I've done ever so far at Tech class-wise
- for blessing me with so many opportunities to serve Him
- the ability to seek His face whether I'm on a retreat or doing chores
- teaching me so much about Him through a relationship, that I'm grateful He has had His hand on since the beginning, I have no regrets and have learned a ton
- I start back to work, so everything that encompasses, ease and memory recall of getting back to it
- My Dad is on night-shift again for work, safety and rest
- My brother is getting ready to leave for Nicaragua on a mission trip at the end of this week for several days, safety, speed, and smoothness of working through challenges
- I'm planning on seeking out different churches here at home, wisdom and courage to follow through
- strength, peace, wisdom, and reminders to run to Jesus when I'm attacked and my emotions try to run wild with me heart
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Moving
I'm sooo tired of having to move seemingly constantly(aka twice a semester). I don't know whether it's b/c I've never moved in my life until college or just the repetitive leaving friends and what not. People have been askin' me if I'm ready for summer? glad to be done? looking forward to work? etc other typical life halfway just making small talk questions? I really don't know my answer to these questions this time around. Before I could just half think and come up with the pros and cons, this time, I have no clue. I can't even really come up with a good list, my brain cannot organize my thoughts on this, other than is it time for these already? I feel like each time these questions come closer and closer together leaving little time to process what's happened between. ...
I should probably be sleeping but I can't. I feel like anytime I want to sleep I can't and when I most need to be awake is when my body just shuts down. For example, I didn't have to get up today by any specific time and I wen, to bed not to long after midnight and woke up on my own, no alarm, around 7 I think then tossed and turned until 11 when I finally got up. I know I'm not the only one that suffers from these problems ...
Finals... blah so I ended up only with 2 finals out of a potential 4. Basically I landed my grades in such a middle range that my professor's essentially said don't bother taking the final it won't help your grade, thanks. So I finished Tuesday and I've been hanging around to see everyone and pack, etc. I almost wish(keyword almost) I didn't finish so early and only with 2 finals, everyone is like you stink I know there's no true mean thoughts behind that but I feel like they've forgotten I've been in there position and rarely get a break like this. Anyways I should stop I believe my prose is turning into complaints and not thought provoking content like a blog should be.
Good Luck on finals and get some rest! goodnight
I should probably be sleeping but I can't. I feel like anytime I want to sleep I can't and when I most need to be awake is when my body just shuts down. For example, I didn't have to get up today by any specific time and I wen, to bed not to long after midnight and woke up on my own, no alarm, around 7 I think then tossed and turned until 11 when I finally got up. I know I'm not the only one that suffers from these problems ...
Finals... blah so I ended up only with 2 finals out of a potential 4. Basically I landed my grades in such a middle range that my professor's essentially said don't bother taking the final it won't help your grade, thanks. So I finished Tuesday and I've been hanging around to see everyone and pack, etc. I almost wish(keyword almost) I didn't finish so early and only with 2 finals, everyone is like you stink I know there's no true mean thoughts behind that but I feel like they've forgotten I've been in there position and rarely get a break like this. Anyways I should stop I believe my prose is turning into complaints and not thought provoking content like a blog should be.
Good Luck on finals and get some rest! goodnight
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Woo
Wow..mmm there seems to be so much going on lately. Spring Break was amazing, God was so active. School is crazy and giving me tons of work as usual. There's been lot's of events in general. I'd really love maybe a day or two to just chill and spend time with people. It's not looking like I'll really get that until I'm back at work. I don't want to wait that long though. I'm just gonna try and schedule time to make time. Thankfully I'm doing decent/pretty good (for me anyways) in my classes so far. Yet, I still have at least one test in every class, plus hws, and a project. The thing is I know a lot of people, including those really close to me, are in the same boat. I really want to be there for them and support them. I pray that God will teach me and show me what I need to be doing. Bedtime has come and gone so Goodnight.
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